


How It All Went Down...

by Magentas_Nightmare



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-01-25 23:17:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 34,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21364303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magentas_Nightmare/pseuds/Magentas_Nightmare
Summary: This is my take on how it went down for the Dixons when the world stopped and restarted in a whole new way. This is the story of how the apocalypse came along and changes their lives. I tried to post this before but my life is crazy lately with family obligations and I couldn't commit to finishing it at that time, but now I'm ready.Hope you enjoy! Magenta xoxo
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Carol Peletier, Lori Grimes/Shane Walsh, Merle and ???
Comments: 36
Kudos: 17





	1. A Redneck Prince

**How It All Went Down...**

**Chapter 1 **

**A Redneck Prince**

Atlanta in the early springtime was a Godsend to the lost, to those who had no home. For people who floated in and out of society’s good graces like apparitions, sometimes a part of it all and sometimes living outside of the rat race. Springtime was special. City streets that were cruel and desolate come winter were reborn in the spring. Winter wasn't especially cold, but even 33 F was enough to make a night in a car or under a bridge a miserable experience.

Each neighborhood had its own ways, its own spirit. Some areas of the city were plagued by high crime, unemployment, crumbling infrastructure, and poor schools. These were the places Merle Dixon tended to call home whether he had a roof over his head for a period of time or not.

He had nothing and nobody with the exception of a drinking buddy his brother lived with named Craig and a girl he got high with named Audra. All he owned by this point was an army duffle bag filled with clothes and a few personal items that it didn’t even make sense to hang onto anymore. Merle’s time in the army at Fort Benning ended shortly after basic training when they learned that they couldn’t break someone who was already broken. A soldier needed to be controlled and trying to control Merle Dixon was something they gave up on early in the process.

Audra would sleep with him sometimes when they both got lonely and on a cool spring day in April, he could be found with her in Pittman Park getting high in the middle of the day.

“Do you think I’m pretty?”

“Sure, when you've showered,” he laughed.

“Shut up,” she muttered.

Her speech was a little slurred and she was laying on a plastic garbage bag on the grass. Rain had left the ground damp and she couldn’t stand up at that particular moment.

“Why would you care what I think anyway?” he asked.

“I don’t really, but you’re the only one here and I need someone to tell me I’m pretty, alright?”

“Of course, I think you’re pretty. I fuck you, don’t I?”

“You’d fuck anyone.”

“I would not. What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m ugly as hell and you know it,” she sighed.

“No, you ain’t, I like the way you look. You got pretty blonde hair and those big brown eyes. It ain’t that common to see a girl with blonde hair and brown eyes, and you got freckles too! You are pretty.”

“Remind me to throw you a good fuck later, my redneck prince.”

“I’ll hold you to that. Want some more?” he asked, offering her another hit on the pipe.

“Hell yeah, give it here.”

Back in a cluster of trees, on the damp grass, he shared the last of his good stuff with her and they looked up at the clouds, giggling and making pictures out of them.

Merle wasted the afternoon with her, laying on the wet grass and staring at the sky. They’d get harassed by strangers sometimes, but it rolled off their backs by then. When you lived outside of the ‘real world’, lingered around its perimeters, it mattered less and less what anyone thought of you. Alone in their bubble, Merle and Audra were the lords of their own creation.

Sunlight caught him in the eyes then, reflected off of her necklace and he frowned when his eyes focused on it.

“Thought I told you not to wear that,” he grumbled.

“It’s the only nice thing I have anymore,” she sighed, her hands coming to her neck to touch the heart-shaped locket.

“Look at our life, Audra. You’re lucky it ain’t been stolen from you yet.”

“Where the hell am I supposed to keep it if I don’t wear it anyway? I don’t have a friggin’ jewelry box or anything.”

“Good point, but you could maybe keep it in your pocket or something.”

“It feels good to wear it, so I’ll risk it. It’s all I have left from my real dad.”

“I know, I just don’t want you to lose it.”

He knew that she didn’t want to think about the real father who died when she was 10, or the asshole who tried to replace him. There were a lot of things that hurt for her to think about, so she changed the subject. She would sometimes ramble about her past when intoxicated and Merle tried his best not to remember the things she said in those moments.

“I think I got us a place for the night,” she suggested in her drug-addled voice.

“Where?”

“That soft touch who lets me use his car sometimes is out of town and I know where he keeps the key.”

“Jerry?”

“Yeah, he’s gone for the next two nights I think.”

“What the hell are we doin’ here then?”

/

They walked eight blocks to the little house of a man Audra used to sleep with and was now stringing along. She did what she had to do, like everyone else on the street she had only a few options for survival.

Merle tossed his duffle bag on the living room floor and stretched out to rest his bones for a while.

“This dump feels like a palace when I’ve been without a roof for weeks,” Merle sighed as he collapsed on a relic of a couch from the 70s.

“And looky what I got,” she winked, pulling Jerry's stash of pot out of a stereo cabinet.

“Light it up, girl!”

Audra played some music, just loud enough to not disturb the neighbors and began to sway on the shag carpeting with a joint between her lips.

** _There she stood in the street_ **

** _Smiling from her head to her feet_ **

** _I said hey, what is this_ **

** _Now baby, maybe she's in need of a kiss_ **

** _I said hey, what's your name baby_ **

** _Maybe we can see things the same_ **

** _Now don't you wait or hesitate_ **

** _Let's move before they raise the parking rate_ **

** _All right now baby, it's all right now_ **

** _All right now baby, it's all right now_ **

“You want a piece of me, Merle Dixon?” she grinned.

Merle looked up at the lost girl before him. He was 50 and she was 32, but none of that mattered in their circle of friends. The old and the young homeless had no hierarchy of age, class, religion or race…they were all equally underprivileged.

Merle would save her if he could, but he didn’t even know how to save himself.

“Come here, girl,” he beckoned and then it was on.

She took another long toke on the joint and handed it over as she began to work on the buttons of his sleeveless flannel shirt. They were both filthy, but it didn’t matter, all that mattered was pleasure. They were both running from pain and didn’t plan to stop. Life was cruel to some people and it broke them in time.

Merle lay his hand on her cheek as she kissed his chest and watched as her breasts came to rest on his lap, the soft cleavage teasing him out of his mind.

She wasn’t much for sexual fan fair and soon she was bare before him and kneeling between his thighs. Audra was a nice girl and always blew him for a few minutes when they’d fuck. She made it feel like she really liked it and he never knew if that was true or not, it didn’t really matter in the end.

Her mouth moved down his full length and he watched as the cherry of the joint reached his fingers, then leaned over to crush it in an ashtray.

“That’s nice, girl. You’re about the best friend I ever had.”

He pulled her up to straddle his lap then and her arms came to wrap around his neck, claiming him for that half-hour and making him feel owned.

Merle didn’t have any desire for marriage, he was much too broken for anything like that, but with Audra, he could pretend for a while that they had something more.

She lowered herself down slowly on his cock and he groaned at the pleasure of it. Her body was fantastic, she was a little thin, pale and dirty but that’s the way he liked it. He didn’t want a girl to make him feel unworthy, he and Audra were two peas in a pod.

She fucked him till his eyes rolled back in his head and he buried his face in her breasts. Perhaps he was trying to die a happy death, knowing that nothing would ever really be right again for him anyway.

As it unfolded, he rolled her under him on Jerry’s couch and fucked her so hard he thought he’d go blind and still she called him on.

“You fuck me so good, you fuck me like nobody else, Merle…harder, baby, gimme everything…”

Her voice was like a siren song, he would follow it to his death as it dripped with sexual power and insatiable lust.

For the moments they were ‘together’ everything was right and being a hopeless druggie meant nothing when he was in her arms. He was good enough for her and she was good enough for him.

They crashed that night and ate some food from the man’s fridge in front of the TV. Audra helped herself to a bottle of peach Schnapps from the pantry and started to ramble about her past as usual. Merle had heard it all before but pretended he hadn’t. This story was what she carried around in her heart and every once and a while she’d dump it all out of her emotional suitcase only to pack it back up when she was sober again. Merle had a story too, and they‘d swap them over and over again when necessary.

“If my mom hadn’t married that prick, who knows where I’d be now. I could have gone to college and been something.”

“I know, honey.”

“I told you, didn’t I? I had straight As back in school. Then she had to marry a prick with a taste for…girls. Back in Maine, I had a life…I belonged there and then I was dragged here against my wishes, and I never fit in.”

She’d always go off somewhere in her head then and he didn’t ask where, he didn’t want to know all the details. Merle had his own luggage.

He was the whipping boy as a child, and so was Daryl. Why Daryl was able to carry on, he’d never know, but Daryl was fairing better than he was.

/

In the morning, Audra said she was going on alone to pick up some money from a guy who owed her, and Merle knew what it really meant. She turned tricks and he never judged her for it, if he could peddle his own ass he probably would, but nobody would pay for it.

“Be careful out there, honey.

"We’re gonna get out of this shit routine you know…this is just temporary.”

“I know,” he smiled, not believing it for a second. "You wanna meet me later tonight at the bridge? I could get something to keep us warm,” he winked.

“More good stuff?” she grinned.

“Yeah, I’ll get it somehow. You’ll meet me then?”

“You got it, my friend.”

He hugged her and then she slipped Jerry’s key under the plant pot where she first retrieved it.

“Seriously, be careful,” he reminded her.

“Hey, ain’t nothing gonna stop me, Merle, I’m a bad bitch,” she giggled.

“Bullshit, you’re a sweet thing, so watch yourself and don’t forget to meet me tonight.”

“How could I ever forget my redneck prince?” she laughed and then she was gone.


	2. Little Brother

**How It All Went Down...**

**Chapter 2**

**Little Brother**

Merle had the rest of his day free after parting ways with Audra, all his days were free if he was being honest. He decided to hop on a bus to a better end of town to visit his brother and see if he could use his shower and bum a meal.

He knew that he was a stone around his brother’s neck, but it was what it was, and Daryl would always be loyal to him.

He got off the bus a few blocks away and eventually came upon the modest rented house that Daryl shared with Craig. His kid brother was in the driveway working on an old truck when he got there, and he offered to help.

“Need a hand?” he asked.

“Nah, I got it. Where you been anyway?”

“Here and there.”

“Need money?”

“I need a shower and food, you feelin’ charitable?”

“Why don’t you just find a job and move in for fuck sakes?” Daryl asked. “You ever gonna try and get the Triumph back?”

Merle’s Triumph was seized by the repo man ages ago, but it was Merle’s dream to get it back one day. For a brief period, a year back when he was doing a little better, he had bought the bike on payments from a used car dealer, who then snatch it back six months later when Merle hit rock bottom again.

“Gotta get clean first, and that’s an uphill climb, brother.”

“Bullshit! You could kick that shit if you wanted. We both know you can take it or leave it,” Daryl argued.

It was true. Merle’s drug use was a crutch more than an addiction, more of a bad choice than anything else. Merle refused to move in with Daryl if he couldn’t pay rent, and they didn’t get along well under the same roof anyway. He wasn’t easy to live with, and he knew it.

Not living with Daryl was the only way he could hang onto his only remaining relative.

“Go take a shower, but don’t wake up Craig, he’s working nights.”

“You got it. Thanks, man.”

Merle walked in and grabbed a towel out of the hall closet and headed down to the basement to toss his filthy clothes in the washer. He washed all the clothes in his army bag and also the ones he was wearing and walked into the basement bathroom to scrub life’s hardship off of his skin.

Merle groaned as the hot water hit his shoulders and let his head fall back to let it wash over his face. He felt older than his years and yet somewhere inside he was still that stupid, impulsive 18-year-old who left home screaming that he’d kill his old man as well.

He worked a bar of soap in his hands and washed every inch of his body till he began to feel human again, or as close to human as he ever got.

/

“He stayin’ the night?” Craig asked.

“Who knows? I just hope he doesn’t think he’s getting high here again, I don’t want that shit in the house.”

“I’ll talk to him.”

“Thanks. Wish we could just have a few beers without him getting into that shit, it turns him into a prick.”

“True.”

“It’s like he’s still back in fuckin’ Rutledge and he’ll never let it go,” Daryl sighed.

“Don’t think he knows how,” Craig suggested.

Daryl shook his head and grabbed a beer from the fridge. He was finished with the truck in the driveway and that Saturday of work would help pay some extra bills. Merle didn’t have to worry about bills though; he could float around and do as he pleased, and it pissed Daryl off sometimes. Merle was supposed to be there for him, not the other way around, and they were both too old for the relationship they had anyway. Daryl was 44 and sick of life passing him by but didn’t know how to settle.

“There’s something going around,” Craig yawned as he lay out on the sofa.

“Huh?”

“A flu.”

“It’s spring, it happens,” Daryl muttered. “I’m ordering a pizza, you want something?”

“Buffalo wings!”

“You got it.”

“They say it’s a bad one though.”

“What?”

“This flu, Daryl.”

“I never get the flu. I’ve got a good immune system.”

“Did I hear something about pizza?” Merle grinned as he stepped up into the kitchen from the basement.

“Fuckin’ mooch,” Daryl mumbled.

“Come on, little brother. You know I’ll pay ya back when I win the lottery,” he chuckled.

“Whatever. Grab a beer.”

In the end, he liked having his brother around most of the time, even when he was being a pain in the ass. Daryl still remembered some good times back in Rutledge, a little nothing town halfway between Augusta and Atlanta where they were born. They were outdoor kids, always getting into mischief and keeping well out of their father’s way if possible. Daryl only ever had Merle growing up, and for what it was worth, they helped each other survive.

“You feelin’ OK?” Craig asked Merle when he planted his ass on the sofa next to him.

“Why? Don’t I look OK?”

“There’s a flu goin’ round.”

“Yeah, they say that every year, so they can con you into getting pumped with chemicals at the clinic. That’s how they control you, Craig. It’s all a government con job if you ask me.”

“Whatever you say, Alex Jones. What do you want on your pizza?” Daryl asked, rolling his eyes at the conversation in his living room.

“Pepperoni, mushroom and green pepper.”

“Same old, same old,” Daryl grinned.

“It’s still the best, why change it?”

Merle, Craig, and Daryl hung out until 8 pm and then Merle packed up his newly clean laundry from the basement to get going.

“You ain’t staying the night?” Daryl asked.

“Got a date, brother.”

“I don’t even want to know.”

“If she doesn’t show can I come back for the night?”

“As long as it ain’t one in the damn morning or something, I need my beauty sleep,” Daryl warned.

“It won’t be that late.”

“Alright, see ya later.”

“See you, brother, and thanks for the hospitality,” he chuckled.

“Like I got a choice?”

“You wanna tell me to go fuck myself, Daryl?” he grinned.

“No, it’s all good, man.”

“Thought so. Love ya!” he cackled as he closed the door and took off into the evening.

/

Merle caught the bus back to the neighborhood of Pittsburg, an area he didn’t officially live in, but one where he felt comfortable lingering. This was the neighborhood where he lay on the grass in Pittman Park with Audra, his best dealer lived there, and he knew the guy at the shelter who’d give him a break on hot meals and a place to crash sometimes. The Gordon Street Bridge was there too, and that’s where he was meeting Audra that night. She’d snuggle up to him against the slab wall of concrete that formed the industrially ugly bridge and they get high just like always.

He’d pretend that she hadn’t been fucking someone else only that afternoon, ‘the guy who owed her money,’ and they’d have a great time shooting the breeze like the world was a happy place. They were rebels, living outside the box that the ‘straight people’ kept themselves in, they were the free ones. It was all a very romantic lie they told themselves to suppress the desire to end it all. They weren’t free, even by a long shot, but they could convince each other that it was true and that was enough.

On the way to the bridge, he noted a few fights in the street and heard more emergency vehicles than usual and figured it must be a rough weekend. It was hard to tell if things in Pittsburg reflected reality or not, it was its own island in the city in many ways. Ignoring the heightened level of hostility around him, Merle continued on until he reached the bridge.

Audra wasn’t there yet, so he pulled a joint from his bag, one that he took from Jerry’s place, and planned to wait.

The weed was good and strong and took off the edge as he leaned back against the cold concrete contemplating life.

The overgrowth of grasses under the bridge was frequented by stray cats hunting at night and one of them eyed him suspiciously from a few feet away.

“Hey there, meow mix? You seen my lady friend?” he asked of the creature and it only stared at him quizzically.

He waited for two hours in the dark and wondered why she hadn’t come. Audra wasn’t the most reliable of women, she lived a life of constant turmoil, but still he worried.

He thought back to the night before and smiled as he recalled the way she sang his praises as he fucked her. Audra never let him down with her enthusiasm and that’s probably why he clung to her so tightly. Audra made him feel needed and sexy. They were both doomed and had no real hope of a good future but being with her was enough to keep him going.

By midnight he began to wander the neighborhood in search of her. Every street corner where she and her friends found work was checked and the shelter where she’d sometimes crash as well. He didn’t know where to look but kept looking long passed wearing out his welcome back at Daryl’s place for the night. Audra was often late, but she would always show up eventually. He got sick of walking by 2 am and walked back to the bridge, finding no evidence of her presence there either. Sometimes she’d leave him a note; black Sharpie chicken scratch on the concrete or something.

_Where the hell are you, girl?_ He pondered as sleep overtook him and he rested his weary head against his army duffle bag.

Merle was planning to set her straight for worrying him when he found her. He had no hold on her, she wasn’t his girlfriend or anything, but still it wasn’t right to worry a friend.


	3. Doomsday

**How It All Went Down...**

**Chapter 3**

**~ Doomsday**

Merle searched for the whole next day until he finally found a lead and it didn’t look good. The streets were getting more hectic and he wondered what the hell was up with everyone.

“So, you saw her last night?” he pressed.

The girl he was asking for information wasn’t right in the head, but she appeared to have answers.

“She was with Troy.”

“Bullshit.”

Troy McMillen was perhaps the nastiest pimp in all of Atlanta and Merle couldn’t imagine Audra going anywhere near him.

“She owed him money. He didn’t look happy,” the girl continued.

“She wouldn’t borrow money from that fuckin’ snake. You must have that wrong.”

“It’s true,” a punk kid sitting next to her vouched. “She doesn’t work enough to support her habit anymore, so she borrowed a couple hundred from Troy to hold her over. I heard he wanted her to work for him to pay it off, but she was dodging him about it.”

“Fuck. Where should I look for her?” Merle groaned.

“Dude…you might not even find her now. Troy doesn’t take shit and sometimes people disappear,” the punk responded.

“Fuck you, pal! That’s the last fuckin’ thing I need to hear right now.”

“Face the facts, man. With the city falling apart and the cops so busy, you’ll be lucky to find her at all now.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You had your head in the sand or something? Doomsday is upon us, friend!” the two idiots laughed, and Merle just rolled his eyes and walked away.

He had no interest in seeking out Troy, nothing good could come from that, but he had no other leads.

Late that night Merle got desperate and slithered into a bar he never frequented for the sole reason that Troy’s thugs hung out there.

He kept his ears open and his mouth shut for an hour but picked up nothing about Audra, so he had to ask someone very carefully.

“Hey, man…”

“Yeah?”

“I know you work for Troy and I just got a question about a friend.”

“I might not tell you a god damn thing; you know that right?”

“I still gotta ask.”

“Alright, shoot.”

“Audra Murphy…is she OK?”

“Short blonde girl? Hooker from McDaniel Street?”

Merle hated to hear her described that way, but it was true, and he knew it.

“Yeah.”

“I wouldn’t bother looking; I think she left town,” the man grinned.

Merle wanted to grab him by the back of his head and break his face on the bar for the way he grinned. He knew what the term ‘left town’ meant.

“Fuck you, man,” he growled.

“You know who I am and from what I know we don’t have a beef with you but watch your fuckin’ mouth unless you wanna join her.”

“Just tell me if she’s really gone, I need to know for sure.”

“It’s done, the girl was playing with fire, buddy.”

Merle slammed his drink down on the bar and pushed open the emergency door at the back, almost falling into the alley with grief. His head was spinning with visions of her face and he knew he wasn’t going to make it without something very strong to take the pain away. He needed to check out of the world until he could process it, and nothing was about to stop him. Merle sold some pills he’d stolen a while back but didn’t trust to a junky, then took a bus to the plasma clinic. He received another $50 for his donation, and the world became a blur shortly after that. He had just enough to escape her face and so that’s just what he did.

###############

It was a disgusting little motel on the highway about a mile out of town and he’d been there before. It was a place that stunk of lamentation and it was perfect. The Sun Down Inn was a place to die.

Merle bought meth, he rarely took it, but he was desperate and needed something cheap. If he was going to get fucked up enough to forget then he also needed a roof over his head; he couldn’t be picky. Paying for drugs and a room was a balancing act in his budget.

“You, stupid girl…you stupid, stupid girl,” he muttered and then he floated away.

Nightmares plagued him for the entire first night and he writhed on the bed with Audra’s ghost just above his and that little smile torturing him.

_How could I forget my redneck prince?_

He went through a journey of grief in a short period of time, knowing damn well that he would be right back at step one the moment he came out of it. Drugs only postponed the pain, they never killed it the way he wished they would. Stumbling around the room cursing her for putting herself in danger, crying just to touch her again; it was helping nothing and nobody, but he knew no other way.

For forty-eight hours, Merle drove himself mad, drifted away on a cloud, came out of it long enough to eat, and then drifted away again. He heard a few bangs at the door and fights in the parking lot but refused to set foot outside of the room until he was finished.

/

By the time he emerged from the daze and stepped outside the door of his crappy, filthy motel room, the world had changed.

He walked to the office of the motel to turn in his key and found nobody at the counter.

“Hey!” he called. “Hey, you want the fuckin’ key or what?”

He grumbled and tossed the key on the counter before leaving the office and noticed that there was a traffic jam on the highway.

When he looked toward the city, he could see smoke from more than one fire and wondered what the hell was going on.

He stepped back into the motel office to use the phone behind the counter and called Daryl only to get his machine.

_This is Daryl and Craig, leave it after the beep._

“Daryl, what’s up, man? There’s a pile-up of cars on the highway and it looks like Atlanta’s burning to the ground from where I am. You OK-”

Just then the phone was picked up and Merle sighed with relief.

“Merle?”

“Yeah, what the fuck is going on?”

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“I needed to get away for a bit, I lost that girl I was hanging out with and it fucked me up.”

“She caught it? Were you near her at all?”

“Caught what?”

“This flu, Merle!”

“No, some thugs got to her over a debt.”

“Jesus! Really?”

“Yeah, Troy’s people.”

“Oh.”

“So, what’s this thing about the flu?”

“That thing Craig was talking about, it’s fucking bad and people are dropping like flies, Merle.”

“Seriously?”

“It’s all over the news, Merle!”

“You know I don’t watch that shit and I’ve been off my damn head for the last two days anyway.”

“We need to leave the city.”

“I’m already a mile out, come meet me here.”

“Damn it.”

Merle had a thought then that made him grin for a second.

“So, the cops are all distracted?”

“It’s a fuckin’ mess, Merle. Looting and gunfire in the damn streets. I would have left by now, but I was waiting for your dumb ass to show up.”

“Take your truck and get my bike from the repo place on Fletcher St. Load it up in the bed of your truck and we’ll get the fuck outta here.”

“It’s fuckin’ dangerous out there, man.”

“Craig will help you, won’t he?”

“He went to find his sister and her kids, it’s just me here.”

“You’ll be in deeper shit if you stay, Daryl. Grab your gun, everything useful you got and get outta there. I’m at the Sun Down Inn on the highway.”

“Fine, but I might not make it, Merle. If I ain’t there by morning, just go.”

“So, it’s that bad, huh? Should I come get you?” Merle asked.

“Nah, I got it, but don’t go waiting around if I don’t make it.”

“You’re talking crazy now.”

“You ain’t seen the city, Merle. There’s a fucking reason that highway is packed. This flu is killing people left and right and it all happened in the last two days pretty much. Thousands of people, Merle.”

“Fuck off.”

“I mean it!”

“Jesus Christ.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Alright, man….and hey?”

“What?”

“Be careful, Daryl.”

“I will. See ya.”

/

Merle kicked himself for disappearing and leaving his kid brother to deal with the mess in Atlanta but who could have seen it coming? Who the hell would guess the whole world would go falling apart? Merle wondered how far they’d have to go to get away from the disease, maybe Tennessee would work.

Merle wondered if the government was going to bring down a military state to take over and get shit straight again, he still couldn’t really process it.

Merle took the key back off the counter and waited in his motel room for Daryl to show up. By 10 pm he was just picking up his duffle back to go steal a car and look for him when he saw headlights coming across the motel parking lot.

“Thank fuck!” he exclaimed.

Daryl stepped out of his truck as Merle walked toward him and he could see something in his brother’s eyes, Daryl had a faraway look suggesting that said he’d seen some shit.

“Daryl, what’s going on?”

“I…I got your bike.”

“Thanks, man. Now we can get the hell out of here. The highway is quieter now, or we could take some back roads.”

“In a minute…I need to sit for a minute.”

Merle noticed blood around the bottom of Daryl’s jeans then and on his boots.

“What the fuck?”

“I gotta sit down, Merle.”


	4. Walkers

**How It All Went Down...**

**Chapter 4**

**~ Walkers**

“What’s wrong with you?”

Merle sat his brother down on the bed in his room. The owner of The Sun Down Inn still hadn’t showed his face, so Merle still claimed the room as his own.

“I went to get your bike from the repo yard…”

“Yeah? And you got it, so what’s the problem?”

“The guy who came to take it when you lost it…what was his name?”

“Cameron something? Don’t remember.”

“He was there, but I’m telling you he looked like he’d been dead already for years. The guy fuckin’ snapped or something…I didn’t even mean to do it, but I had no choice.”

“What are you talkin’ about?”

“I killed him.”

“Bullshit! You couldn’t hurt a fly, Daryl.”

“Merle, I’m telling you, the guy came at me in a rage and I picked up the first thing I saw and cracked him over the head.”

“You must have that wrong-”

“That ain’t even the worst part. He got back up and wouldn’t stop coming at me till I busted his head wide open.”

“Jesus Christ!” Merle exclaimed.

It didn’t sound like anything Daryl would do, he must have had no choice. Daryl was not a violent person. He’d fight to defend himself or protect someone, but he wouldn’t kill if he didn’t have to.

“I think this flu makes people crazy with rage, I never heard of anything like it.”

“What’s the news saying?”

“Not much and I got a feeling they ain’t telling the truth. It’s all ‘stay in your homes and everything will be fine’ bullshit. But there’s screaming in the streets and constant sirens, they’re spinning a fuckin’ line to the public, I think. This is worse than everyone thinks…it’s like the end of the fuckin’ world, Merle.”

“Then you’re right, we gotta get the fuck out of Dodge. I need to be the fuck away from Atlanta anyway.”

“What happened to that friend of yours again?”

“She’s dead…Troy’s fuckin’ thugs got to her over some money.”

“I’m sorry.”

“This world is an ugly bullshit place and it’s only me and you now, brother. Fuck everyone else, right?”

“Right.”

“We ain’t gonna be able to trust nobody now and we can’t go getting close to people, it only gets you hurt.”

“True. So where do we go?”

“Who knows…just out of the city at first. I don’t think the guy who runs this dump is around so let’s take what we can from here first.”

“Good plan.”

They pillaged the place for anything useful and loaded up the truck. The owner had an office with 3 guns and a small crate of bullets that Merle happily took with them. It wasn’t Merle’s problem anymore, and he was only looking out for himself and Daryl now.

The one person he cared about besides Daryl was gone and he knew she probably went down in the worst way. His friend Audra was likely passed around between Troy’s gang and abused before the end, they probably beat her senseless and then strangled her. He’d heard of their handiwork around the neighborhood and it was enough to give anyone the chills, but that was the whole idea. Troy’s men wanted everyone to know what would happen if they didn’t pay up as a warning, but desperate people with drug habits still fell into the trap on occasion.

Merle wasn’t falling for it again; he was sticking to himself. All he cared about now was keeping his brother alive and he’d do anything it took to do that. He had been keeping people at arm’s length most of his life, but now he was going to straight-up push them away if that’s what it took.

/

With the truck loaded and Merle sitting astride his pride and joy again, they headed out of the city with the unknown ahead of them.

The highway was still congested so Daryl took off on a backroad at the first available chance and within an hour or so, they saw a fire in the distance. The area was the home of a massive quarry with a small lake at the base and Merle looked up at the sign when they stopped to discuss their options.

“Look, Daryl, Cumming Quarry,” he smirked.

“Grow up, Merle.”

The fire they spotted in the distance had a few vehicles and a camper parked nearby, a group of maybe 12 people by the look of it.

“Who do you think it is?” Daryl asked when they stopped a good distance away to survey the group.

“We could take ‘em,” Merle said simply.

“Jesus, what’s with you?”

“It’s me and you now, Daryl. We can’t trust anybody now and it’ll be survival of the fittest before you know it. I bet they got shit we need, like food and weapons.”

Merle was done playing games and numb with grief and fear that he’d never admit to; if Daryl wanted to survive, he’d have to get on board.

“You think they’ll just let the likes of us into their little group and share the wealth?” Merle pressed. “If we want to make it, we can’t afford to be soft.”

“But maybe they’d let us in the group, you never know.”

“We don’t need that shit, Daryl. The more people we get close to, the more trouble we’ll have.”

“So, what do you want? We just go down there like Vikings and pillage?”

“Things are going down the drain, what else are we gonna do?”

/

Daryl followed behind Merle, toward the camp of people in the quarry. It was a great place to hide from it all, but their fire was too high, and they’d lose their hiding place soon if they didn’t smarten up.

He didn’t know what had gotten into Merle, but he was going to get them both killed. Daryl didn’t take the upper hand with Merle, it just wasn’t their relationship, but he had to stop him from raiding this group. It was evident that it was just ordinary citizens and he wasn’t about to rob them all at gunpoint.

“Merle,” he hissed as his older brother started down a hill toward the group in the dark.

“What now?” Merle huffed.

“Lemme talk to them first.”

“Jesus Christ, Daryl!”

“I’m not doing it this way…if they turn out to be assholes, I’ll help you, but lemme try and talk to them first.”

“They’ll take one look at us and tell us to go fuck ourselves, Daryl.”

“Then we can do it your way!”

“Fine,” Merle huffed. “But I’m just backing you up. I ain’t kissing ass to a bunch of strangers.”

“Fine.”

They came into view slowly and with their hands up, Daryl knew they were likely armed, and he was right.

“Stop right there!” came a strong masculine voice. “Keep your hands raised and get down on your knees!”

“Great!” Merle growled. “A fuckin’ pig too! Nice job, Daryl.”

“How was I supposed to know?”

The man came closer with another man behind him and proceeded to pat them both down, taking their weapons in the process.

“Who are you?” the man with dark hair demanded.

“Daryl and Merle, we’re brothers.”

“From Atlanta?”

“Yeah.”

They were allowed to stand and asked a battery of questions about what they knew, what was going on in Atlanta and what their intentions were.

“We just wanna be the fuck out of the city,” Daryl explained.

“I need to discuss this with the others before we let you stay,” the dark-haired man decided. “T-Dog, watch them till I get back.”

“What kind of name is T-Dog?” Merle smirked.

“Shut the fuck up, Merle!” Daryl huffed.

“You and me are gonna be friends, I can just feel it,” T-Dog sighed.

“I doubt it,” Merle rolled his eyes.

The first man returned, introduced himself as Shane, and said they could stay but ensured them that he was in charge. He made it clear that if there was any dissension in the ranks, he’d toss them out.

“And we don’t get to keep our weapons?” Merle argued.

“Not till I know I can trust you. You’re better off here with us anyway. You wanna go fend for yourself with walkers all over the damn place?”

“Walkers?” Daryl asked.


	5. One Week Later

**How It All Played Out**

**Chapter 5**

**~ 1 week later**

Merle didn’t like it. Daryl was already acting different around the new people. They had chosen a spot away from the main group and had taken to sharing a tent. Merle didn’t see the benefit of the group. Only seven days in and they were the ones hunting and feeding people for the most part.

“This is stupid, Daryl. We’re just taking on mouths to feed! What’s the point?”

He was bitter about the world now. It didn’t feel good to be in a dark place, but he couldn’t help it. Every time he imagined one of Troy’s thugs likely raping and strangling the only woman who cared about him, he wanted to kill. The pain wasn’t going anywhere, it simply morphed into hatred of anything and everything around him except Daryl.

“What’s wrong with helping out? They got kids to feed here.”

“They ain’t my kids,” Merle mumbled.

“There’s safety in numbers and these walkers could be anywhere.”

“I still think that’s a load of bullshit. Dead people don’t walk,” Merle laughed.

“You didn’t see the guy at the repo lot when I picked up your bike, I did. I can believe he was dead now after what these people say.”

“Whatever.”

“So, are we still going on that trip tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

Merle yawned and got up to take a leak before bed. The line that separated their area from the rest of the group had a string for hanging wash and nobody ever walked past it. Merle knew they’d be outsiders from the start and decided right away that he hated the main group. They were a bunch of candy-assed people who knew nothing about the other side of society, they’d never gone without anything in their whole life, he could tell. They belly-ached all day about hunger and living rough and it made him sick. Life at the quarry was the best living he’d had all year and listening to their complaints only enraged him.

He found a spot to empty his bladder and startled a woman in the dark as he pulled out his dick.

“Jesus!” she shrieked, and it made him laugh.

“Beware of snakes,” he cackled.

He wasn’t normally the type to make crude jokes around a woman when he was sober, but he was itching for a fix and generally angry at the whole world after losing Audra. He had a little meth in his coat pocket but only enough to get him loaded up once.

The world would have to tolerate him, he really didn’t care if they didn’t like him anyway.

The slim and pretty African American woman looked wide-eyed at him but said nothing.

“Boo!” he said suddenly when she made no move to walk away.

The woman jumped when he startled her and then frowned as she walked away. The group was soft and would never survive in his opinion. If God really had flipped the script and left the dead to roam the Earth then these people would be goners in no time.

Merle didn’t know what to say to any of them, and he knew it was better if they just stayed away from him. There was nothing for him to give and the more they hated him the better. Sure, he was making things harder for Daryl, but the group all seemed to accept him anyway.

/

Morning came on the eighth day and Merle packed up the truck to take it on a run with Daryl for supplies.

They were in a position where he had to ask Shane for their weapons and Merle detested that.

He could tell that Shane was screwing a woman named Lori, but they were keeping it on the down-low. How nobody else knew, Merle had no idea. Figuring out the group was not difficult. Shane was a pig and Merle hated cops, Lori and Carol were a mother and son with the father of the family missing and presumed dead, Carol was married to an abusive asshole named Ed and had a little girl named Sophia. Andrea was stuck up, Amy was her sweet little sister. T-Dog was following Shane’s orders and so was a guy named Jim, Dale was an idealistic Democrat type. Jacqui was pretty, but he wasn’t going there after Audra. Jacqui was T-Dog’s sister and Merle could see him being an obstacle anyway. There were other people there, but Merle couldn’t be bothered to learn the names of people he didn’t care about.

They finally hit the road and Merle breathed a sigh of relief to be alone with Daryl and not around ‘those people’ anymore.

“Those idiots are hopeless,” he sighed.

“You’ve been fuckin’ miserable since we left Atlanta. You ever gonna stop being a pain in the ass?”

“It ain’t my job to be Mr. Sunshine.”

“Good thing cause you’d be fired long ago.”

They headed north down a long grid road to the namesake of the quarry where they now lived.

“Cumming, Georgia!” Merle grinned.

“Small things…” Daryl answered.

“Getting all stuck up on me now that you’re hangin’ out with cops and fancy folks?” Merle snarled.

“They just seem like normal people to me.”

“You got a lot to learn, brother. They ain't like us.”

The small city still had people living there, that much was clear. Curtains moved like ghosts in the windows as they drove in via main street and Merle could hear doors of homes closing. It was clear that the people left behind didn’t want trouble.

At the grocery store, a man was still trying to defend the place with a rifle and Merle respected that to some degree.

“Any chance of some canned goods, we got people out at the quarry, including children,” Daryl began.

The man considered them for a moment and after weighing the chances that they might just take it anyway given their size, he relented.

“Just don’t take it all, I’m trying to do right by the folks here.”

“We’re keeping the quarry defended. There’s hunting out there, and fishing.”

“It’s safe there?” the man exclaimed.

“So far it is,” Daryl answered.

“That’s great news. We can send people out there to fish then?” the man asked, as if he hadn’t lived in that area his whole life and never needed permission before. Already the rules of the world had changed.

“Sure. You fill a couple boxes with canned goods and do all the fishing you like,” Merle grinned.

He was willing to barter if the man would play ball.

“Got any whiskey?” he added.

“Sure thing, friend. Ain’t a lot of drinkers in the city anyway, so help yourself.”

Merle walked out with three boxes of food, 4 bottles of whiskey and a big smile on his face.

“I like this place,” he chuckled.

They checked out the whole place and filled a few more crates at the local second-hand store before checking out the local outfitters.

“Holy shit, Merle! Look!” Daryl almost screamed.

He grabbed a crossbow down off a shelf and turned it over slowly in his hands like it was Christmas morning.

“You still know how to work one of those?” Merle asked.

Daryl used an older crossbow growing up in Rutledge but this one was modern and looked overly high tech to Merle.

“I’ll figure it out,” Daryl assured him.

“Cool. I’m taking some blades,” Merle grinned. “Why don’t these people stockpile all this shit? They must be crazy.”

“Maybe they wanna help people?”

“Yup. Crazy,” Merle answered. “Let’s get back before dark and have us a little party.”

Merle was up for anything to drown his thoughts and the whiskey would do just nicely.

“Behave yourself, Merle,” Daryl half warned, half pleaded.

“Me? I’ll be good as gold. Don’t you worry little brother,” he cackled on his way out the door and back to the truck.


	6. Lovesick Blues

_ **Lovesick Blues** _

_ ** <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSIPi0AOBqU> ** _

* * *

**How It All Went Down...**

**Chapter 6**

**~ Lovesick Blues**

**I got a feelin' called the blu-ues, oh, Lawd  
Since my baby said goodbye  
And I don't know what I'll do-oo-oo  
All I do is sit and sigh-igh, oh, Lawd**

**That last long day she said goodbye  
Well Lawd I thought I would cry  
She'll do me, she'll do you, she's got that kind of lovin'**

“You gotta keep him quiet, Daryl!” Shane growled. “He’s gonna draw every walker from a hundred damn miles!”

“I’ll talk to him. Sorry,” Daryl winced.

He dreaded talking to Merle when he was depressed and shit-faced, that was a bad combination.

Merle was yodeling an old Hank Williams tune at the top of his voice after downing almost an entire bottle of whiskey from Cummings. He was hurting and that made it even harder to approach him. Evidently, grieving the hooker he liked was going to stick with him for a while. Daryl walked up slow as Merle broke into the next verse next to the fire.

**Lawd, I love to hear her when she calls me  
Sweet daddy, such a beautiful dream  
I hate to think it all over  
I've lost my heart it seems**

“Merle…hey man, you gotta keep it down a bit,” Daryl began.

“Who says? Your new friends over there? They wouldn’t know good music if it jumped up and bit them in the ass.”

“Probably, but you’re gonna attract trouble around the quarry with your singing.”

Merle sneered at him and kept in singing.

**I've grown so used to you some-how  
Well, I'm nobody's sugar-daddy now  
And I'm lonesome  
I got the Lovesick Blues.**

**Lawd, I tried and I tried, to keep her satisfied  
But she just wouldn't stay  
So now that she is leav-in'  
This is all I can say.**

“Damn it, Merle! You’re gonna get us kicked out of the group!” Daryl hollered.

“I never wanted to be part of the group anyway! Why do you care what these people think so much? Why do you care more about them than me?”

“You’re talkin’ bullshit!”

“We never needed anybody else and now you just kiss their asses all damn day. First, I lose her and now I’m losing you! Fuck this world, Daryl! Fuck it!” Merle growled.

“You ain’t losing me, Merle. Just keep it down a little.”

“You changed.”

“You changed! This girl goes and gets herself killed and now I can’t even talk to you!”

“You sayin' she was asking for it?”

“I’m saying she was playing with fire and you know that’s true. Of course, she didn’t deserve it, but you can’t change it now. You have to keep living!”

“What for? Audra was the only woman who ever looked at me like a person, Daryl! What the fuck do I have to live for now?”

“Me! Keep living for me!”

Merle got up and stomped off, and Daryl knew he’d be fine once he walked it off. He had a knife on him, so he’d be fine. Daryl knew that Merle was capable of looking after himself.

/

Merle woke up to blazing sun and the sound of a woman humming outside his tent. He rolled over with his head screaming at him and unzipped the screen to see Jacqui hanging up his jeans on the clothesline between his and Daryl’s camp and the rest of the group.

“What you doin’ over there?” he grumbled.

“Hanging your clean clothes to dry.”

“You my wife now?”

“Just doing my part.”

He crawled out of the tent only to realize he was half-naked and standing in his boxers before the woman. If she didn't want to take in the glory of his morning wood, she shouldn't be one his side of the camp.

“…thanks,” he muttered before stumbling away to tale a piss.

When he returned, she was humming again and had all his clothing hung in a neat row between the two areas.

“You from Atlanta?” he asked.

“Yes, my brother Theodore and I owned a coffee shop in Little Five Points,” she smiled.

“You a hippy-dippy or something? I know that neighborhood. It’s like the Haight-Ashbury of Atlanta,” he smirked.

“I might have been once, not really sure who I am now,” she sighed.

Merle liked her smile. He’d never seen anything like it. Jacqui’s eyes would squint up really sexy when she smiled and her whole face seemed to glow. Being around her and liking her felt like he was already betraying Audra though, so he crawled back into his tent to escape.

“You don’t have to do my washin’ if you don’t want,” he said as he lay down in the stifling hot tent.

“I don’t mind at all,” she insisted.

He lay on his back, looking up at the worn nylon of the old tent and listening to her humming again. He thought for a moment that Audra would have liked being out in the woods with him, she loved the outdoors, one of the few perks of being homeless was plenty of fresh air.

/

The next morning, the group discussed a possible trip to Atlanta and Merle didn’t see the point. The woods had pretty much everything they needed. He could use a good fix, but he knew he’d have to kick it in this world or go crazy with constant need. Merle was a junky by choice more than addiction, he had times in his life where he didn’t use for weeks and he could manage fairly well on just booze.

Ed wasn’t going along on the trip and he was worse than useless. T-Dog volunteered and so did Shane and Andrea. Daryl threw his name and Merle's into the hat as well, much to Merle's chagrin.

“We’ll go too,” Daryl nodded.

“Wait? What?” Merle huffed. “You got a death wish?”

“We can help, Merle. We’ll need more supplies here soon.”

“You people ain’t seein’ this straight. There’s nothing we can’t find right here in the quarry with the woods all around us. We can hunt, we got water. What more do we need?”

“I’ll go along too,” smiled Jacqui. “I’m not having my brother go without me.”

“Sis, I want you to stay here where it’s safe. We need some people to stay behind anyway.”

“You bossing me around, little brother?” she grinned. “Nice try.”

“There’s no more room in the truck though,” T-Dog argued.

Merle rolled his eyes at the siblings arguing and decided to break it up.

“She can ride with me.”

“What did you say?” T-Dog almost laughed. “My sister is not riding anywhere with you.”

“Why the hell not?” Merle demanded.

“Merle, cool it,” Daryl interjected.

“No. Why the hell can’t she ride with me?”

“You gonna make me say it?” T-Dog growled.

“You got something to say, you go right ahead!”

“You’re more than a little erratic and she’s my only family left. I don’t trust you.”

“This is the group you want us to be part of, Daryl? They don’t even treat me like I’m human for Christ sakes!”

“I’ll ride with Merle. It’ll be fine,” Jacqui announced.

“What the hell, Jacqui?”

“Last I checked, I was a grown woman. I can decide for myself.”

Merle turned to walk back to his bike with Jacqui following him and couldn’t help grinning at the idea of her choosing to go with him. Life still held some surprises apparently.

  
  



	7. Into The City...

**How It All Went Down...**

**Chapter 7**

**Into The City..**

Merle planned to hang back and follow the group into the city. He and Jacqui would be more vulnerable on the bike, so it only made sense to follow.

“No helmet?” Jacqui asked as she walked up to his bike and looked it over.

“Nope. You’ll be safe with me though, no worries.”

“What if we crash?”

“You’ll be safe with me,” he repeated. “Been riding since I was a kid.”

She didn’t push it any further, Merle wasn’t about to defend himself after she had chosen to go with him.

“Come on, honey,” he said after climbing on and reaching for her to sit behind him.

Jacqui swung her leg over and leaned back against the bitch bar so he instructed her to come closer to and hang on tight.

“OK…like this?” she asked as her little hands clasped together around his waist.

There was really no need for her to be this close, but Merle loved to ride with a woman, and he hadn’t done it in years.

"That's perfect. I ain't gonna bite ya, don't be scared," he chuckled.

He set out after the convoy of vehicles and turned the first corner leading out of the quarry, causing her cling to him like she was going to fall.

“You ain’t gonna fall, honey. It feels like it, but you ain’t.”

“It really does feel like it,” she squealed.

“Told ya, you’re safe with me.”

“You did say that,” she answered.

“And I mean it.”

They rode on in silence for a while longer and eventually he felt like talking again. Merle was anything but the silent type. His father always told him that his mouth would get him killed one day and that was probably true.

“So…why'd you come with me anyway?” he asked over his shoulder.

“I wanted to come along, and you offered to take me,” she replied simply.

“No other woman would have come with me though, you know that.”

“I know.”

“So then maybe it was to get under your brother’s skin?” Merle grinned.

Something about being the bad boy appealed to him, it was a role he was well accustomed to.

“Maybe…”

“Hey, I'll take it,” he smirked.

They finally arrived in Atlanta and it was a shit show from the jump.

Merle and Jacqui caught up to the group as they entered the city to find that there were multiple fire across town, traffic jams and general chaos.

“We need to get in and out quick and I don't think it's a good idea to get too far into the city, we might not get out again,” Shane warned.

Merle wasn't surprised to find a cop telling everyone else what to do but he didn't have the energy to argue for once.

Shane led the group to an area on the outskirts of the city where they could gather basic materials but they were forced to take multiple detours along the way. Streets would be randomly blocked by multiple cars or else there would be an obvious altercation in progress. The breakdown of the social contract happened quickly by the looks of things. As soon as people knew the cops wouldn't be responding, they appeared to do as they pleased.

“This place is like the wild west already,” Jacqui winced.

Merle could sense the fear in her voice at being more exposed on the bike as opposed to being in a vehicle so he lay his hand on hers to calm her down. Her little hands clasped around his waist brought him a little joy in all the misery and he took advantage of her fear to relish in it.

“I think this could be a bit of a shit show but I won't let nothin' happen to you,” he assured her.

His promise was almost immediately broken when a car accident occurred ahead of them. Two cars collided when one of them didn't obey a stop sign and a violent argument erupted immediately after. Merle was stuck behind the argument and had to take yet another detour to catch up to the rest of the group in the truck.

“We need to catch up to them,” Jacqui exclaimed.

“We will. No worries.

/

Night fell fast and they never did find the group. Shots were fired at them as they tried to make it through a rough neighborhood. Jacqui was terrified and so much of what happened was a blur. Merle eventually had no choice but to flee the city with her in one piece while they could. They couldn't even make it to the area that Shane had suggested and Merle ran out of fuel not far outside the city. He couldn't make it back to the quarry that night. The world was going to be an unforgiving place that could turn upside down in a heartbeat. Merle knew he'd have to dig deep to make it now; everyone would.

He was grateful to find a hunting cabin off the main highway where they could spend the night, but Jacqui was very upset and worried about her brother. Merle was concerned for Daryl as well, but Daryl was tough as nails and Merle felt confident that he'd be OK until they caught up to the group at the quarry.

“I can't believe it,” she kept repeating.

“Everything will be different now,” he agreed.

“Thank God we got out of there alive...I hope my brother is OK.”

“He'll be fine. He's got good people around him and my brother is a smart guy. They'll be fine.”

The cabin was small but it appeared to be frequented regularly. It was clean and there were various supplies available. The fridge and pantry were full of basic camping foods so they'd be OK for a while. There were two bedrooms and a fireplace and the toilet was hooked up to a cistern. There was even well water on the property so Merle was happy to be there.

“We got the world and all its charms here, girl. This place will do until I can find us some gas and we can get back to the quarry. I'll get us a fire going and we'll be sittin' pretty,” he smiled.

He got her to smile and considered it a victory.

Soon, he had a huge fire going and they had a moment to think straight.

“Thanks,” she said.

“What for?”

“Taking care of everything and finding us a place to stay.”

“It's nothing.”

“Well, I really appreciate it.”

Merle felt calm around Jacqui and found that his argumentative ways died down quite a bit in her presence. He wondered what she'd think if she knew he liked his drugs and that he didn't have a proper home before the world went to hell. What would she think if she knew that only recently, he was sleeping with a homeless prostitute?

Now that they were alone, Merle found himself wondering many things about her.


	8. I had to do it...

**How It All Went Down...**

**Chapter 8**

**~ I had to do it...**

Darkness fell and Merle lay back on a couch opposite Jacqui.

“So, your brother ain't my biggest fan, huh?” he cackled.

“Probably not, but he doesn't really like any man being near me. He's always been protective like that.”

“That's good, I guess. I was always protective of Daryl back in the day too.”

“That's the way it's supposed to be, I think.”

Merle found himself undressing her in his imagination and didn't bother feeling back about it. She was slim and toned and her beautiful skin was smooth as silk. Merle just knew that his rough hands would move over her body so easily. He'd be able to scoop her up in his arms and lay her out like it was nothing. He normally went for a woman with big-time curves, but this petite woman with the squinty smile had him feeling a certain kind of way. She spoke to him like he was a person and that was no small thing to a man who'd been so invisible for so long.

“I feel bad now...the last time I spoke to my brother I was giving him attitude.”

“That ain't the last time you spoke to him.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I'm not the type to make promises, but believe me when I tell you you'll see him again.”

“Thank you,” she smiled.

They ate some of the cabin food together by the fire and made small talk for an hour before deciding to turn in.

“I'll find some gas tomorrow and get you back to your brother, OK?” he yawned as he stood up to head to bed.

“Thanks for giving me hope...I feel better now.”

“Good. You take the room with the queen bed,” he added before walking into the smaller of the two rooms and peeling off his shirt and pants to lay down.

“Goodnight, Merle.”

“Night, Jacqui.”

He sighed heavily at his arousal over her and looked at the light coming in through the door, still open a crack.

He missed Audra and he hated the way things ended for her. She didn't deserve the life she had, and he knew that he could have made things better for her. He should have been her redneck prince and create a world that was safer for her. Maybe she would have resisted it, maybe she was programmed for self-destruction, but he could have tried.

Merle listened to Jacqui get up and head off to bed and thought about sliding into bed next to her just to feel some kind of comfort, but it wasn't in the cards. Jacqui was happily tolerating him, and it was more than he could have hoped for. He had to be satisfied with things the way they were.

/

His eyes shot open to the sound of banging against a window and he leaped out of bed like a bolt.

“There's someone out there!” Jacqui shrieked, holding a sheet around herself and shaking with fear.

Merle slid his feet into his boots and grabbed a log from the next to the fireplace.

“You're not going out there, are you?”

“Have to. You stay put,” he instructed and moved closer to the door.

Merle recalled what Daryl had said. The people who had the flu were violent and he may have to kill them to protect Jacqui. He wasn't the killing kind, but he wasn't going to let anything happen to Jacqui either.

He opened the front door and closed it behind himself reminding her with a stern whisper not to try to help him if things went bad.

“Merle-”

“No matter what you hear, you stay put,” he repeated.

"But-"

"There's no time!" he pressed. "Promise me."

"I promise."

He crept around to the window where the noise originated and sure enough, a man was banging his arm against the glass. Merle noticed blotching patches on his face and arms, he looked like a corpse and Merle immediately feared catching whatever the man had.

“Hey, pal. You ain't well-”

A deep, menacing growl left the man's mouth and when he turned to face Merle, it was clear that somehow the body before his was soulless.

“Jesus...” he muttered.

The man lunged at him once and Merle lurched out of the way, gripping the log tighter in his right hand as he planned his attack.

Daryl had said that he was forced to break the repo man's head wide open and Merle dreaded doing it.

Teeth crashed together before him as what used to be a man, bit at the air and grasped with claw-like hands at anything he could reach. The snarling never stopped, and Merle knew that this wasn't killing a person, there was nothing human about the thing before him.

He raised the log and brought it down hard enough to slow the thing down but not to kill it or break its skull. That level of violence would be a thing he'd need a few swings to get used to.

“I don't wanna do this, man. Just stop!” he shouted at the thing's dead eyes, still hoping there was something inside of it listening to reason.  
Nothing was getting through to it, though and he needed to end this before Jacqui was in danger. He winced at the blood coming from a gash on its head and knew he didn't have a choice but to continue.

Again and again, he raised the log and brought it down, the sound of sloshing flesh and the dull thud of bone embedding in his mind.

“Fuck!” he growled. “Just stop!”

The thing was tenacious, and it took 12 good blows to break the skull and end the fight. Out of breath and horrified by the work of his own hands, he looked down at the puddle of brains, flesh, and bone and shivered.

“Merle?”

He turned to see her behind him and felt completely exposed and defensive.

“I had to!” he shouted back without meaning to be so loud.

“I know," she insisted. "I know you did."

He walked past her and back into the cabin to sit down.

“I need a drink,” he sputtered.

“I'll see if I can find something.”

Jacqui got up and went into the kitchen to look for something and he let his head fall to his hands.

“There's only wine, will that do?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

Merle twisted the cap off a cheap bottle of fruity strawberry wine and down half a bottle in a few deep gulps.

“I had to do that...it wouldn't stop,” he repeated.

“I know that. I'm not blaming you.”

She lay her hand on his thigh and he breathed deep, feeling her settling into his heart, setting up shop and taking over as manager. He wasn't ready to let her know anything he was thinking, but the time would come when he couldn’t hold back from letting her know.

########################

“Where the hell are they then, huh?” T-Dog raged.

The group was all standing around the fire back at the quarry trying to determine the best course of action after the failed mission to Atlanta. It was late and the anxiety level was high as walkers became a more frequent problem in the area. They had to take out at least 10 on the way back and nobody was resting easy back at the camp now.

“We don’t know!” Daryl hollered back. “We’ll find them though, just relax!”

“My sister is out there somewhere with your brother and you think I can relax?”

“Hey, guys. This ain’t doing any good now,” Shane sighed in his standard ‘cop’ tone.

“No! I’d like to know just what the hell you’re accusing my brother of!” Daryl growled.

Now that Merle was gone and he didn’t know if he was OK, all the past annoyance of his behavior was gone. Daryl just wanted his brother back alive and well.

“He could be doing anything with her and you know it!” T-Dog snarled.

“You callin’ him a rapist?” Daryl exclaimed. “Who the fuck do you think you are sayin’ that? My brother never laid a hand on a woman out of turn in his whole damn life!”

“You think he’d advertise it or something?” T-Dog fired back.

“Fuck you!”

Daryl lost it, he saw nothing but red and lunged at the man claiming his own brother could be the scum of the Earth without him knowing it.

Shane, Jim and Dale broke up the fight and Daryl stormed off to the tent he had shared with Merle before. The mood was tense, and everyone seemed to think that Jacqui was in danger. Daryl knew damn well that Merle wouldn’t let anything happen to a woman, but Merle’s previous behavior hadn’t instilled that confidence in the others.

“That guy is trouble and there’s no telling what happened to her now,” T-Dog sighed. “I have to go find her.”

“Where the hell are you gonna look,” Shane noted. “We have no idea where to look and wasting gas is not something we can afford.”

“So, I just leave her out there with that creep?”

“We don’t have any evidence that Merle Dixon is anything besides maybe annoying,” Carol interjected.

“So, you’re defending him too?” T-Dog exclaimed.

“I just don’t think we need to be throwing around accusations of him being a rapist. That’s all," Carol explained.

“Why don’t you stay the hell out of it, Carol?” Ed grumbled. “This ain’t our affair and nobody asked you.”

Daryl stormed across back to the area where the group was gathered and dropped Ed Peletier cold with one solid crack to the side of his head and silence fell upon the group.

"There wasn't one goddamn man around here that coulda done that?" Daryl growled. 

They were all prepared to condemn his brother and yet they all stood idle as Ed verbally abused his wife in plain sight. Daryl wasn’t standing for it.


	9. A Sudden Switch

**How It All Went Down...**

**Chapter 9**

**A Sudden Switch**

It was getting very late, but Merle didn't think he'd be able to fall sleep. He'd killed plenty of animals in his life but never a human being. Sure, the thing he put down didn't look or behave human, but it had been born to someone and lived a life as a human until recently and that bothered him.

Merle took drugs when they were available, stole to support his needs at times, and lived a shady life, but he was no killer. He wasn't like the animals who had ended Audra's life.

“You did the right thing. Other men in the group have killed those things. I hadn't seen it before myself, but they said that they encountered them as they were leaving the city and had no choice. Me and Theo avoided them until we got out, but others weren’t so lucky.”

“I can't stop thinkin' about it...what could make a person like that?”

“This flu must damage the brain and make them aggressive. It's scary, isn't it? Why isn't the government doing anything?”

“Who knows? The government never was much good at helping anyone from what I remember,” he chuckled.

“You got me there,” she smiled back. “I'm so tired but I don't know if I can sleep.”

“We should try to get some rest if we're gonna find the group tomorrow. You'll probably crash eventually.”

“Yeah, probably...could you stay in my room with me?”

Merle was pretty sure this wasn't a sexual invitation; she was likely just scared. Still, he was in no position to turn it down.

“If you want me to.”

There was a chair in the corner of the bedroom and Merle sat down and leaned back with his arms crossed, fully planning to sleep cowboy-style until she started to laugh.

“What?” he asked.

“Lay down here,” she chuckled. “We're adults, and I don't bite.”

“I never thought you would, just didn't think you'd want me taking up your space,” he explained bashfully.

He lay next to her on the queen-sized bed and she pulled an old crocheted quilt over them both.

“Thanks for staying, I'm still freaked out,” she winced.

“It's all good.”

Just as he suspected, she was scared to be alone. So much for the faint little hope that she wanted him back. Even so, she did move closer to him until he could feel the pressure of her body against his and it was enough.

/

Somehow, they managed to sleep late, and the room was toasty warm with full morning sun when Merle opened his eyes. Incredibly, she was in his arms, but he couldn't recall how or when it had happened in the night. Merle eased her onto the mattress and stood up to survey the situation. He would have to walk miles to find a vehicle or a gas station but there was no real alternative.

He began to pack up his bag with supplies and water when she came upon him in the kitchen.

“Leaving me?” she quipped.

“Gonna go find some gas. Might be a long time, so don't let anyone in no matter what. If a window gets broken, you take shelter in the little crawl space down under the trapdoor in the kitchen.”

“I'm coming with you,” she insisted.

“You'll be safer here,” he countered.

“Why are men always being so pushy?”

“Cause we’re tryin’ to keep you alive,” he smirked.

“I'm coming with you.”

“Fine, but don't complain when we encounter some bad shit out there,” he warned.

“Fine. Let's go.”

“T-Dog was right about you. You are stubborn,” he teased.

Merle gathered a pitchfork from outside the cabin and a shovel. For a hunting cabin, Merle was surprised to find only a measly .22, but it was better than nothing. There were a few smaller knives as well that he divided up between them and they were on their way. He had his usual army backpack and it was filled with food and supplies from the cabin as well. They were as prepared as they could be.

They walked from the cabin through the ditch next to the main road and followed it for a good 5 miles to the next tiny town not very far outside of Atlanta. Merle knew they'd probably find some gas there; he just didn't want to encounter any unsavory types while Jacqui was with him. The town of Gibson only had maybe 300 souls when everyone was at home, but it was clear that many had run for the hills. Merle spotted the town hall along the main drag and eyed the remaining vehicles.

“We just need a siphon and a gas can of some kind and we're gold,” he said as his eyes scanned around for a possible building to search.

He walked toward a bar first and found the door unlocked so he headed right in to investigate. Jacqui followed along wordlessly, and he liked that about her. Audra was a chatty gal and although he never found it to be a problem at the time, he appreciated the silent moments that occasionally fell between he and Jacqui.

It remained quiet for a moment until he heard soft footsteps descending an old wooden staircase next to the hallway they were currently stood in.

“You back already, baby?” came a giggly female voice.

Merle held the shovel at the ready in case she was armed but he figured that she probably wasn't.

“Who are you?” she yelped when her eyes settled on Merle and Jacqui.

The girl was maybe 21 and had a head full of black curls and dramatic makeup. She was showing almost all her goodies and Merle wondered who she was waiting on. Who was this girl's ‘baby’?

“Don't matter who we are?” he shot back. “Who you waitin’ on?”

“Don't fuck with me, buddy,” she laughed. “I know people who will tear you another one if you so much as lay a hand on me.”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah,” she winked confidently. “That's right.”

“Who you waitin’ on?” he demanded again.

When he heard who she was associated with, who she was waiting for, everything changed.

/

Jacqui was stunned to find that Merle was being antagonistic with this young woman. Within a few seconds of encountering her, Merle was acting different and it didn't make sense to her.

The girl was unarmed, and yet Merle grabbed her before she had much of a chance to protest and Jacqui was shocked. Merle frisked the woman swiftly and held her arms behind her back, searching for something to tie her up with.

Jacqui wondered if the man who had slept next to her so peacefully the night before was actually someone she should fear.

“Merle...what's going on?” she asked.

“I can't explain it right now,” he answered and something in his voice said that he wasn't about to tell her anything and that it was pointless to ask again.

Merle eventually found some zip ties and wrestled the girl to the ground to restrain her.

“Fuck you! You're making a huge mistake! You're fucking dead for this! Dead!” she screamed as her wrists were zip-tied and then her ankles.

Jacqui hated everything about this, she wasn’t the violent type and had no idea what was going to happen next. Merle didn’t seem like this person either and it scared her.

“When are these people coming for you? The ones who'll kill me dead?” Merle sneered.

“Any minute now! You're such a fucking idiot!” she seethed.

“Let's just see about that, hey?” he growled.

Jacqui didn't know what had come over him and she was terrified of this new Merle.

################

Daryl was stewing all alone in the tent he used to share with Merle when he heard footsteps approaching his tent and he darted out to let whoever it was have an earful.

“Oh! Sorry!” she squeaked, and Daryl frowned.

“What you doin’ here?” he demanded.

He didn’t mind her being there, but he didn’t need grief with her prick of a husband.

“I just wanted to say thank you. I’ll go.”

“Hey…I didn’t mean that. I’m just worried about my brother.”

Her short hair clung to her neck with late evening sweat and he imagined her skin tasting salty before shaking the dangerous thought from his mind.

“I get it. Well…I just wanted you to know that it felt good to see him take a punch for once.”

“The world probably ain’t going back to the way it was, you know?”

“It probably won’t.”

“So why don’t you get that prick out of your life? You and Sophia don’t need that shit.”

She seemed taken aback by it, like she never even considered that the world ending could mean freedom for her and her daughter.

“How?” she asked simply.

“There’s probably a few ways to do it…want me to think of something?” he teased.

“Would you?”

Daryl loved the way her eyes darted around then to see if anyone was watching and he decided to come up with a plan.

“Yeah, just gimme a day or two. You sure about this?”

“Yes…I better go.”

“Yeah…goodnight, Carol. Be safe.”

She smiled at him then and he knew he was asking for trouble.


	10. Vengeance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poting 2 chapters today cause this chapter ends on a bit of a cliffhanger and I hate that. lol  
Thanks for reading! xo  
Magenta

**How It All Went Down**

**Chapter 10**

**Vengeance**

Merle stood over the girl on the ground and looked down at her with nothing but indifferent disdain. He wasn't taking her shit and he had a plan. It was clear that he was scaring Jacqui, but this was too important to walk away from. This was his only chance to put it right.

It was over an hour before he heard a sound at the front door of the bar and in all that time, he didn't say a word to Jacqui. What could he even say to her now?

The tension was sky high that the cocky young woman even began to beg him for answers, beg him to let her go unharmed. Merle didn't answer her. All he could think of was resolution and Audra. Nothing was going to stop him. Through the door, he was relieved to only see one man and it was just the one he was hoping for.

“Get up!” he snarled at the woman on the ground as he pulled her up to her feet and wrapped one of his huge arms around her throat. He motioned for Jacqui to get behind him and she obeyed without question.

“What the fuck is this, Candy? I leave you for a couple hours and you get yourself in this mess?” the man chuckled. “What do you want, pal?”

“Drop all your weapons!” Merle demanded.

“You think I'm unarming myself for her?” the man laughed.

“Troy!” Candy shrieked.

“Relax. This guy don't have the sack to kill you.”

“I'll bathe the walls of this joint in her blood if I have to,” Merle vowed through gritted teeth. “Drop your weapons! I ain't asking again.”

“What the fuck is your deal, buddy?”

“Drop your weapons and I'll let her go. I'll tell you everything.”

Troy rolled his eyes and began to disarm, laying handguns and weapons on the bar next to him. Merle could see the moment coming and his heart beat like thunder in his chest.

“Hands up and I'll let her go safely next to my girl behind the bar,” Merle instructed, and the man's hands went up.

Merle grabbed the shovel as soon as he let go of Candy and approached Troy with two swift strides cracking him upside the head without a second thought.

“What the fuck?” he cried out as he dropped to the ground in a heap.

“I'm ‘bout to beat you to death, Troy.”

“Why? I don't even know you!” he screamed.

“This is for Audra!” Merle explained, and the look of realization washed over Troy's face.

“Hey...it was just business! You know better than anyone how shit works!”

Merle didn't say another word. He simply spent the next five minutes straddling Troy's waist and throwing punch after punch at his face till nothing remained. Candy screamed for him to stop, but he didn't hear Jacqui's voice at all. The world around him ceased to exist, there was nothing but red, nothing but blood and pain. Merle was a man possessed. His hands, swollen from driving his fists over and over again into Troy's face, would ache for days and he knew it.

By the time he looked up, Troy was long dead and Candy was crying and pulling him off of the remains. Merle took all of Troy's weapons and packed them into his backpack as the girl wept. He moved on autopilot, pure instinct had made him think of the weapons.

“You bastard! You fucking asshole!” she screamed but it sounded to Merle like her voice was traveling across a great distance to his ears.

“Gimme that fucking necklace,” he growled, and Candy removed it with trembling hands to hand over to him.

Merle looked down at the locket, Audra's locket, and walked swiftly out of the bar without even looking for Jacqui. He couldn’t face her.

The moment he saw that necklace, he knew that Troy was close, and he’d kill him if it’s the last thing he ever did, but now what? What the hell was he supposed to do now?

In a moment he was standing in the street with the hot sun burning down on his head. The elation he expected to feel for killing Troy was muddled up with shame at doing something so horrific in front of Jacqui. He knew that he shouldn’t leave her alone, but he just couldn’t bear for her to see him.

########################

Daryl wanted to go looking for his brother, but the group had decided that he shouldn’t be given one of their precious guns for the search. T-Dog wanted to look as well, but they were hardly allies so nobody ended up doing a thing and it was driving Daryl crazy.

“So ya’ll are just gonna forget all about Jacqui and Merle?”

“What are we supposed to do, Daryl?” Shane sighed with obvious annoyance. “Wasting our energy when we don’t have a clue where they are, makes no sense. We don’t have the gas either.”

“So, this group means shit is what you’re saying? It’s every man or woman for themselves? What the hell is wrong with you people? Carol’s being abuse and nobody says shit about it and two people go missing and nobody even gives a shit!”

Ed wasn’t around to hear his comment, but Carol was, and she couldn’t help a grin from spreading across her lips.

“Calm down for Christ sakes!” Shane hollered. “I thought your brother was the pain in the ass, not you!”

“Someone needs to be a pain in the ass around here. Ya’ll are so fuckin’ passive!”

“That’s a big word for you ain’t it?” Shane scoffed.

“Only a cop would think passive is a long word,” he muttered.

“You got a problem with me?” Shane growled.

“You deaf too? Of course, I do! People need saving and the cop in the group is the one who doesn’t care!” Daryl snarled.

“You two need to relax and talk this out,” Dale intervened. “Shouting won’t solve anything.”

“Always the diplomat,” Shane huffed.

“Fine. You two scrap it out and get nowhere,” Dale fired back.

Eventually, the bickering settled down and nobody was happy. Jim came over when the original group gravitated back to their usual camp and said that he agreed with Daryl.

“I think we should be looking too, or what’s the point in a group at all,” Jim offered.

“Right? Now, why can’t that dumb cop see it?”

“Who knows, but he basically runs everything where we like it or not. Did you want me to come look for your brother with you?”

“You’d do that?”

“Why not? Beats sitting around here waiting for those sickos to pick us off.”

“When do you want to go?”

“Morning? I can pack up some stuff…maybe get a gun,” Jim winked.

“Right on. Let’s do it.”


	11. Like it's always been good...

**How It All Went Down**

**Chapter 11**

**Like it's always been good...**

Jacqui was stuck sitting on the floor of the bar for a long time. Candy cried for a while and then wandered out into the street, but Jacqui couldn’t move. Her eyes remained focused on the body on the ground, pulverized and motionless.

_Who the hell was Merle Dixon? _Jacqui didn’t know, but she suspected that this was very out of character.

She had felt so safe with him and she didn’t understand anything that happened. Why was he so angry at this person?

Merle had walked out right after it happened, and she was too afraid to follow him. She didn’t necessarily think he’d hurt her, but he just seemed like a different man now. A scary unhinged man.

Jacqui finally got up off the ground and walked past the corpse cautiously as if it might get up and grab for her ankle, but it didn’t move and soon she was standing at the door looking out onto the ghost town road. Where was she supposed to go now?

The sun was relentless as always and she looked up and down the street for a sign of where to go. It was clear that Merle wasn’t far, and she knew that he had gone north up Main Street. Kicked over garbage cans and a trail of bloody handprints along the glass of the storefront windows guided her along. Of all the people to be seeking, maybe she shouldn’t have been seeking him, but she was, and she didn’t even know why.

Eventually, the handprints stopped, and she could see that he had broken a window to enter a liquor store. Without stopping to question it, she reached in through the frame of busted glass to get a handhold on something inside.

“Merle?” she began, slowly and cautiously as she lowered herself down onto the floor inside the building. “Merle? You in here?”

Rows of bottles filled with magical elixirs for forgetting remained lined up and then through the door to a tiny back office, she saw a boot. Merle was sat on the ground covered in blood up to both elbows drinking whiskey from the bottle when she crept up slow trying not to startle him.

“Merle…”

“Don’t look at me,” he said softly.

She didn’t know what to say, so she remained at the door waiting for him to look up and when he did, he looked sad. Jacqui wasn’t afraid of him then, but she desperately wanted to know why it happened.

“We need to get you cleaned up,” she said.

“I’ll never get this blood off of me now…”

“Merle…he must have done something to you. Something to deserve what you did.”

“He deserved to die, but I wish I didn’t have to do it.”

“You don’t have to tell me why if you don’t want to…but I know you wouldn’t do that for no reason.”

“I wanna tell you, Jacqui...I wanna tell you everything.”

“We need to find somewhere to rest and get you cleaned up and then you can tell me whatever you want to. OK?”

Merle just nodded, face still lowered to the ground and so she reached down to help him up. He wasn’t physically harmed, but he was mentally broken, and she knew in that moment, for worse or for better, they were a team.

/

The rest of the day was a blur. Jacqui led him to a little house in town that looked secure and found him a place to wash up. Merle stood under the shower in the bathroom and watched the water at his feet turn dark pink. Jacqui was being too nice to him and the only reason that made sense was her survival instinct. He was a monster, but she was safer with him than she was alone. By the time he found something to wear from the bedroom of the little house and settled down in the living room, Jacqui had food prepared and was awaiting some explanation and she deserved one.

Merle drank some more whiskey, despite his better instincts, and began to speak.

“I was homeless before all this started and my life was a mess..but I had a friend named Audra. She was a mess too, but it didn’t matter.”

He looked up and Jacqui said nothing, she just let him speak without rushing him and he appreciated that.

“Me and Audra weren’t really a proper couple, but sometimes she’d sleep with me…maybe out of pity or boredom, I have no idea. I think we loved each other but not in the usual way. We had nobody else and we kept each other’s heads afloat…it was nice.”

He paused to take a sip of his whiskey. At this point in the story, he was still seeing Audra alive, smiling at him that last time he saw her. He could hear her voice at this point in the sad tale. He was still her redneck prince.

“Troy killed Audra right before the world went to hell.”

“What?”

“Audra and me liked our drugs, her more than me, and she owed that asshole money. You don’t owe someone like Troy money.”

“Jesus…I’m so sorry.”

“I wish I could go back. I’d get her off the street and living somewhere nice. I could have done it, but I didn’t bother. I was just fucking lazy and I put up with less.”

“Merle, you can’t blame yourself for the past.”

“Audra was abused all her damn life. She needed someone to step up and do right by her. I knew that and yet I did nothing. I can lay off the drugs when I want to. I could have worked and gotten us a place,” he sighed.

“All we can do is learn from life…the only choice you have now is to let that failure eat you alive or you can keep going. Those are the only options.”

Merle appreciated that she wasn’t mollycoddling him. It was a failure and she didn’t try to tell him it wasn’t. She was right about him only having two options as well.

“You very likely saved some other woman from his violence…think of it that way and try to move on,” she said softly. “You’re not a bad person.”

He loved the sound of her voice and she offered him one of her sweet squinty smiles. He loved the way her eyes looked when she smiled.

“I didn’t think anything could make me feel better right now…but that really helps, Jacqui. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Her face glowed in the fireplace flickering nearby and he wanted her closer. Merle wanted to touch her soft cheek and kiss her so badly.

“I don’t get why you came lookin’ for me,” he said, “I didn’t understand why you came with me in the first place but I’m sure glad you did.”

“I’m glad I did too.”

“I know that Audra didn’t really love me, but it was as close as a guy like me could get. I never asked for much in life cause I don’t really deserve it, but it was nice to have someone who liked to be around me, you know?”

“I like being around you,” she said softly and reached out to lay her hand on his.

All of the air drained from his lungs and his heart raced.

“Being around you makes it feel like it's always been good. Does that even make sense?” he winced.

“It does,” she smiled.

/

They had canned tuna and crackers for supper and after a good talk, she asked him to share the same bedroom again.

“We can go look tomorrow for the group. I guarantee they’re back at the quarry,” Merle yawned. “You sure you want me to stay with you tonight?”

“I sleep better knowing you’re there.”

“I’m fulfilling some purpose then,” he chuckled to himself.

There had to be something magical about Jacqui cause he didn’t expect to be even smiling so soon after the encounter with Troy.

“Maybe it’s more than just sleeping better,” she confessed, and he froze as his eyes caught hers from the other side of the bed.

“It is?”

She gave him that smile and a little wink and he was done.

Merle tried to read what her eyes were telling him as she slipped beneath the covers of the bed, they were telling him something for certain, but he had to be sure before he made an ass of himself.


	12. Don't Stop...

**No Plan - Hozier**

** <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPG9CUkj5wY> **

_ **You MUST play this song, it's so fucking sexy;) I hope you find this chapter sexy too...** _

* * *

**How It All Went Down...**

**Chapter 12**

**~ Don't Stop...**

Merle turned the light out next to the door and wondered how much longer electricity would be a thing. There was still a chance that the world could be restored to something close to normal in Merle’s mind. Without the news or the internet, it was hard to tell how bad things were on the outside. All he knew was that right now Atlanta was not an option and he would never see Audra again.

Right now, Merle had a little house to sleep in that wasn’t his own and a beautiful woman waiting to lay next to his worthless ass; maybe the new world wasn’t all bad.

He could make out the curve of her hip as she rolled over to face him in the dark and he imagined touching her skin. Jacqui’s skin was so smooth and in the bright sun of Georgia, it glowed, drawing his eyes and his longing.

“Are you OK?” she asked.

“I’m gonna be, thanks to you…I’m so glad you came to find me. Don’t know what I woulda done if you hadn’t.”

“I needed to know why you did it cause I could tell it wasn’t really you.”

“But it was.”

“No, it wasn’t. You’re the man who felt bad at putting down a walker the night before, that’s who you really are.”

“You ain’t like any other woman I ever met, Jacqui.”

“Should I take that as a compliment?” she half giggled.

“I got nothing but compliments for you.”

Silence fell between them and he waited for a sign of what she wanted. Her little hand moved toward him slowly and came to rest in the middle of his chest and he was sure that she could feel his heart racing through his undershirt. All he could do was wait and pray.

She came in close then and paused for just a moment before laying a soft kiss on his lips. Merle was instantly on fire for her and he knew that fire would burn forever. He didn’t know why he was being given a second chance, but he was taking it. He needed her so much already.

Merle reached out for salvation in the touch of her skin and received it. Jacqui’s skin was just as silky smooth as he imagined, and she was so receptive to his unworthy hands.

He dared to slip his hand under the blanket down along the curve of her hip and then urged her up closer to his body. He was already hard for her and prayed that she’d let this madness run its course all the way till the end.

She moaned into his neck and licked the shell of his ear, leaving every hair standing on end.

Merle was usually into women with some real meat on their bones. Audra had been a little slimmer, but she was still curvy, and he loved that. Jacqui was toned and very slender. Her body type was completely new to him, but she was driving him crazy all the same. Merle liked everything about her: her smiling face had caught his eye first day, but he liked every inch of her body in short order as well. She was so kind to him as well and he didn’t feel like he deserved it. Jacqui seemed to be able to see through his bullshit. She could see his act for just what it was. Merle was hiding his pain behind rage and stupidity and maybe she was the only woman on Earth who would even bother to dig deep enough to realize that.

Merle felt her leg drape around his hip as they lay on their sides, face to face, and it felt so good to have her so close. The dark and the heat all conspired to create the most intensely erotic moment of his whole life. The world had gone to hell around him and here he was in heaven. Merle pulled the strap of her tank top down her shoulder and kissed down to her chest.

“Why are you letting me touch you, honey?”

“I want you to...I need it,” she moaned and he was dead on the spot.

/

Jacqui threaded her fingers through his hair and wanted to take away his pain. She threw caution to the four winds and just gave herself over.

She couldn’t explain the way she felt for him and didn’t feel like fighting it. After everything else was said and done, he was all she had in that moment.

Jacqui needed to find her brother, she wanted to apologize for being a brat…but she couldn’t have that now. What she could have was Merle, so she was taking him as her own. He was so much bigger than her and she felt completely enveloped in his arms as he took his place over top of her.

Soon he was taking her hands to sit her up and ease her top over her head and he stopped to kiss her neck before reaching back to unfasten her bra.

“My God…you’re so beautiful,” he groaned as he lay her back on the bed and just looked at her, an expression of wonderment in his eyes.

Making out with Merle made her feel alive. His touch was electric as his huge hands moved down the backs of her thighs to urge her pelvis up to meet his own.

"You're driving me crazy, Merle...don't stop."

“I wanna get inside you, honey…I wanna make love to you and never fuckin’ stop…”

Hands grasped at each other’s clothing then and Jacqui was breathing heavy in anticipation of his manhood. She could already feel him hard against her through their clothing and she wanted him desperately.

/

Soon she was pushing her own pants down her legs and he liked how eager she was. Merle was going to give her everything.

He assisted her in pulling her panties down her perfectly toned thighs and then kissed his way up from her ankles to her belly. Her legs opened, inviting him closer and he licked a hot trail up her inner thigh to the glistening heat he really needed.

Merle went for it but tried not to be overly eager. She tasted sweet and salty and he was instantly intoxicated by her. He gripped her hips and moved his lips against hers in a slippery motion that made her whimper.

“Do it…oh, baby…you do it so good,” she sighed.

Merle wanted to drown in her, and he couldn’t care less what her brother thought. He was going to have his body pressed to hers and his tongue slithering between her sweet lips every chance that he could and the only one who could stop it was her.

Merle took short breaks to kiss her inner thighs and tease her out of her mind and then he’d be right back at it.

/

By the time he began to finger her with his lips cradling her clit, she was spent and couldn’t take another second.

“Oh God…oh, Jesus!”

She was grasping for him then and pulling his hips down but he had to be smart.

"Just a second, I need to grab something."

Merle scooted off the bed and grabbed a condom from his pocket, he wasn't risking anything with Jacqui.

"Probably a good idea in this world," she nodded. "Nobody needs a baby right now."

"Truth."

Merle had been tested in the last month but he still didn't want to risk giving her anything even if the risk was minuscule. He got tested a lot for giving blood and plasma.

He rolled the condom down the full length of his cock as her eyes took in what he was working with.

"Damn," she murmured. 

"Will I do for ya, honey?" he winked.

"Oh hell yes!"

He happily moved up her body to slide both hands behind her back. He lifted her up into his lap and she could feel him slowly ease himself into her. She straddled his thighs and took a moment to really feel the way he filled every single centimeter of her insides. Feeling his dick strain against her inner walls, tight and wet, was just what she needed now. The world was gone but pleasure was still very much a thing.

Jacqui rode him hard as he urged her on with both hands gripping her ass cheeks.

“Like that, honey? Feel good?” he growled.

“Feels like heaven…don’t you dare stop!”

Eventually, he lay her out beneath him and she almost chuckled at the way he easily moved her around the bed and into different positions. He just scooped her up like a doll and lay her out like it was nothing. Merle's massive arms made her weak with desire. She'd never been attracted to a man like him before, she was usually into clean-cut men who told her sweet lies. Merle had no pretense, he was free of social constraint and while he wasn't always perfect, he was honest and Jacqui realized now that she had been craving that all along. She didn't need perfect, she needed honesty.

His hands rested on either side of her face as he nailed her with an agonizingly slow thrust of his hips. She drank in the sight of his face and watched as his muscles strained above her. She left a sudden fear to lose him and kissed him hard. Falling for someone when the world was so uncertain scared her but she couldn't resist him, there was no choice.

Within the next twenty minutes, he came hard, growling in the dark. She held his sweaty head against her chest for a good ten minutes before they dared to let go and she knew he could feel it as well. They were one. They were united for life.


	13. Dead and gone

**How It All Went Down...**

**Chapter 13**

**Dead and gone**

It was still dark when Daryl and Jim met up to discuss their intended direction, but Daryl had another issue on his mind as well. He wanted to find his brother, and was grateful that Jim would come with him, but he also wanted to get some information about Carol's husband.

“What do you know about this Ed character?”

“He’s a piece of shit. If you ask me, he’s got eyes for that little girl but it’s just a feeling.”

“What the fuck?”

“I had a girl cousin when I was younger who was messed with like that…it’s just a vibe I get from the way he is around her. It’s hard to explain unless you've seen it before,” Jim sighed.

“I wanna get rid of him.”

“Huh?”

“He’s a liability, and he’s no use to Carol and Sophia…the rules are different now.”

“So we just off the ones we don’t like?” Jim pressed.

“It’s more than not liking him…he could get people killed. Carol wants to be rid of him too.”

“What do you suggest?”

“I don’t know…but I gotta think of something.”

“Daryl?”

Daryl turned to see Carol standing a few feet away, the sun just starting to rise over her shoulder.

“Have you seen Ed around anywhere?” she whispered.

“No? Why do you ask?”

“He's gone...I thought maybe you-” she looked over at Jim then to see if he knew what she was referring to.

“I didn't do nothing yet. I was just asking Jim about the Ed thing now.”

“He went off last night drunk as a skunk and he's still not back.”

Daryl and Jim told her not to say anything to the group yet, it was still early and nobody noticed him missing yet.

“We'll go take a walk, he's probably just passed out somewhere.”

“True,” she sighed. “It wouldn't be the first time.”

Daryl and Jim started walking and ever-widening perimeter around the camp and it wasn't long before they came upon a walker and knew they'd have to warm the group that camp was no longer a safe haven. They avoided the walker since it was spotted at a fair distance and continued to search.

It took two hours of hiking in the hot morning sun, but eventually, they found parts of what they were looking for.

“Jesus Christ!” Jim hollered from ten feet in front of Daryl.

“What is it?” Daryl called out.

“Get your gun! Grab it!”

Daryl pulled his gun from the waistband of his jeans and caught up to Jim. What he saw would stay with him forever.

About 20 feet away, 2 of the sick people were crouched on the ground...eating Ed.

Ed must have been dead or he would have been screaming bloody murder. They could only see enough of him to know it was him, from his clothing, they couldn't see his face. He was being eaten and although Daryl hated him, it made him sick to his stomach. What the hell happened to the world? Why would these sick people want to eat human flesh?

“What the fuck do we do?” Jim whispered.

“I don't know...but Ed is done for.”

“What do we tell them back at camp?”

“The truth.”

“They'll think we killed him.”

“Who gives a fuck what they think? I was thinking of killing him anyway,” Daryl whispered and began to back up. “Let's go before those fuckin' things see us.”

/

Back at camp, Carol looked eager for news and Daryl shook his head as he approached her.

“Carol, we need to talk alone.”

“What did you find?”

Daryl pulled her over to the area he had been sharing with Merle, away from the main group and made her sit down on a tree stump before explaining what happened.

“Tell me,” she pressed.

“Let's just say Ed ain't your problem anymore, Carol.”

“Is he...he's dead?”

“Yes.”

“How? Did you-”

“He was dead when we found him and you don't want to know more than that.”

“I do.”

“I don't think you do, Carol.”

“Walkers?” she guessed.

Daryl nodded but refused to say anything else.

Carol began to cry and apologized repeatedly for being so upset.

“Hey, I get it. You don't have to explain,” he assured her.

“Did this happen because I wished for it? Am I an evil person?”

“It's just over, for you and Sophia, all the bullshit with him is over and you two can start over.”

“We're all alone...what am I gonna do? I don't know if I can do it alone.”

“You could do it alone, Carol. You taking care of Sophia alone is easier than dealing with him and basically doing it yourself anyway, right? And you ain't alone, I'm here.”

She smiled through her tears and he pulled her up to her feet to hug her.

“It's gonna be OK...I promise you it's gonna be OK.”

“I have to tell Sophia...”

“Just wait a minute here with me. Sophia's with Andrea, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then just stay here with me a minute till you get your bearings.”

Daryl didn't want her to let him go. He wanted to comfort her, that was true, but he also just didn't want her to let him go.

/

It was noon, at a guess, before Merle opened his eyes. The last few days had been action-packed with activity, drama and stress. He felt like he could sleep for a week and still be wasted. Still, he rested his cheek on his elbow and just watched her sleep. He wanted to keep her, and he hoped like hell that when she woke up, she’d want him the same as the night before. More than once a woman had come to her senses in the cold light of morning and changed her mind about him.

He had to sneeze then and tried to do it quietly, but he could feel her eyes on him by the time he opened his own.

“Sorry.”

“Bless you,” she said softly.

“So…”

“What?” she asked as she yawned and turned toward him.

“Still feel OK with everything?”

“How do you mean?”

“Any regrets?”

“Regrets about last night? No.”

“Just checking.”

“I have no regrets, Merle.”

“Thank God.”

“I think we have something good started here. Are you in?”

“I’m in all the way,” he grinned. “So, you wanna pack up and find your brother so he can clean my clock for daring to touch you?”

“Sounds like a plan,” she laughed. “We will find them, right?”

“I know we will. I have no doubts.”

/

The roar of Merle’s bike startled everyone in the quarry and T-Dog came flying out of his tent that night ready to lose it in every way.

“Where the hell were you?” he exclaimed as he ran up to the bike. “What happened to you?”

“It’s a long story, Theo…let me just get my head straight,” Jacqui began, just wanting to hug him again.

He eyed Merle suspiciously and asked if his sister was OK.

“I’m fine. Merle took care of me.”

“Did he now? What took you so long to get back?”

Jacqui explained only that they were forced out of the city after becoming separated and that they encountered some bad people and Merle took care of it.

“We made it back,” she sighed as she hugged him. “That’s what matters.”

“I guess so, but you sure had me worried. The assholes in this group wouldn’t spare any weapons or a car for me to come find you. I don’t see any reason to stick with them if being in a group means nothing,” he grumbled.

The rest of the group gathered around a fire to discuss the future and shared the news that Ed was gone. Merle noticed that Daryl had already moved in on the widow and he wasn’t surprised. He wondered if maybe they could make a go of it with the two couples and Jacqui’s brother. He had no respect for Shane and the rest of the group and liked the idea of being his own man again. Answering to Shane was already getting old.

It was very late at night, almost morning, before he had a chance to talk to Daryl alone and they got to making a plan. He thought about telling Daryl about Troy, but it was just the wrong time. If he told his brother about Troy, he'd need time to really tell it to him properly. He hated that Jacqui even knew, he hated that she'd seen it.

“So you’re with Jacqui?” Daryl asked.

“Yeah, and you’re already weaseling in on Carol?”

“Kinda…her and that little girl need someone to look out for them now and I like her.”

“Let’s separate from this big group then. I think we can do better with just us and Jacqui’s brother.”

“Maybe we could take Jim too, he seems like more of our type. He was gonna leave with me this morning to go find you behind Shane’s back.”

“That’ll work. Bring him too. We need to get set up somewhere of our own and look out for the people we got now. I’m gonna keep Jacqui safe in this shit if it kills me.”

“Sounds serious,” Daryl noted.

“It is. Tell me you don’t feel the same about Carol and you ain’t even fucked her yet.”

“You got me there…so where do we go?”

“There’s gotta be some kind of place out in the bush or a farm or something. We can hunt and live off the land.”

“Sounds good. I’m sick of this fucking place already.”

“Talk to Carol tomorrow and I’ll have to have a word with Jacqui, then I’ll have to let her brother know I defiled his little sister.”

“He’s gonna fuck you up.”

“Yeah, probably,” Merle chuckled.


	14. Wildflowers in the ditch...

**You Know Me Too Well**

** <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1VnO0V1TcE> **

_ **YOU MUST PLAY THIS SONG;) Trust me XXX** _

* * *

**How It All Went Down...**

**Chapter 14**

**Wildflowers in the ditch**

“Hey.”

Daryl approached Carol’s tent in the morning and found her curled up with Sophia. He hadn’t paid much attention to the existence of children in the group until now. He didn’t want to get attached to anyone when everything was so precarious. If he had to guess, he’d say Sophia was 5 years old and she was quiet; Daryl understood that quietness very well. Sophia was used to trying to go unnoticed just like he had been as a boy.

“Hey, Daryl.”

Carol eased her arms out from under her daughter and stepped outside to talk to him.

“She cried for a long time, but she was so afraid of him.”

“It doesn’t make sense a lot of the time. I felt conflicted by my own dad for years. He treated me and Merle like garbage and yet I’d go out of my way trying to impress him all the time…abuse is like that; it messes with your head.”

“That’s true. I feel free and I know it’s better this way, but I’m still all over the place in my head.”

She sighed heavily then, and he could see that she’d gotten no rest.

“What do you think about starting a new group away from Shane?”

“Where?”

“Merle thinks we should go to Rutledge where we grew up and set up on our own. I couldn't believe he suggested it this morning, but it's as good as anywhere. I can’t guarantee your safety, but I do promise I’ll protect you and Sophia the best I can.”

“I trust you.”

“Already?”

“I have a good feeling about you.”

He liked the way she looked at him and he felt good to have something to fight for. He needed someone to defend and something to aim for. Daryl decided that making things safe and good for Carol and Sophia was going to be his goal and with the help of his brother, they were going to make it. A big part of him was hoping to get next to Carol but he wouldn't push it.

“I’ll go talk to Merle and see if he convinced T-Dog to come along with us. We’re hoping to bring Jim as well.”

“Sounds good to me. Jim is a good guy.”

/

Merle mentioned leaving to Jacqui and she was instantly on board, but her brother wasn’t so easy to compel.

“What's going on with you two anyway?” he demanded.

“We’re a couple now, Theo,” Jacqui answered simply.

“Jesus, Sis. Him?”

“Yes, him!” she shot back.

Merle rolled his eyes at the two of them arguing about him like he wasn’t even there.

“Look. I know I’m probably the last man you want with your sister, but I care about her and I’ll defend her life before my own. It’s not like I’m forcing her to be with me…for some reason she likes me. I don’t get it either,” Merle wasn't sure if what he'd said was convincing or not so he decided to add, “and what the hell could it hurt to have another man willing to die for her in this world?” That seemed to do the trick.

T-Dog couldn’t argue with that logic and he just groaned to himself when he realized that he couldn’t really keep up the argument.

Merle grinned when he could see that at least for the time being, the war with T-Dog was over. Now he felt an overwhelming desire to prove Jacqui’s brother wrong. He was going to provide for her and show T-Dog that he wasn’t garbage…he could prove it to himself as well. Merle had started on the street with nothing, but it wasn’t going to end that way. He was going to make something of himself at the end of the world. Maybe this was the only circumstance where he could.

Jim was on board easily; he wasn’t a fan of the larger group and the dynamics of Shane leading everyone around. It was Shane who had a problem with them leaving. He saw it as disobedience and a weakening of his power.

“You’ll all be toast in a week if you leave with those two,” Shane exclaimed. “Carol…how can you take off with him when you have Sophia to think about?”

Daryl could see that Shane had struck a nerve with her and now that Ed wasn’t around to tell her to stay silent, she was going to let him have it.

“Don’t question my parenting. Don’t ever do that,” she seethed.

“Carol, I don’t mean it like that. I just think it’s a bad idea to trust them when they’re still new to the group.”

Carol didn’t bother answering, she just turned and returned to her tent to finish packing.

/

Merle had his bike and Daryl had a truck, but they were going to need a lot of gas, so Merle left with Daryl’s truck to find more with Jacqui. Thankfully Daryl’s truck was a crew cab so everyone would just barely fit.

“I’ll have her back soon as we find some more gas and we’ll get going,” Merle assured T-Dog.

“I’m trusting you with the only person who matters to me. Don’t forget that.”

“I know that and I take it seriously,” Merle insisted. “We’ll be back in no time.”

They made it a good few miles out of town when Jacqui’s desperate hand reached over the bench seat to touch him and began to stroke him through his jeans. A good song was playing on Daryl’s truck stereo and it was giving her ideas that he liked.

_ **Summer was long** _ _ **  
** _ _ **And it's suffocating when you're alone** _ _ **  
** _ _ **I gave you a call** _ _ **  
** _ _ **Baby, I could come by, help forget it all** _ _ **  
** _ _ **'Cause in this sticky weather, oh, it's really hard to sleep** _ _ **  
** _ _ **As you know all too well** _ _ **  
** _ _ **And when we get together, oh, you make me feel so cheap** _ _ **  
** _ _ **But I can't help myself** _ _ **  
** _

“Pull over,” she demanded.

Merle skidded to a stop on the side of a grid road along the quarry and turned to grab her face in his hands.

“You’re gonna get it,” he growled.

Merle dragged her into a ditch filled with wildflowers and pulled her arms over her head. He was between her thighs instantly and thrusting against her in seconds.

“Need that? Tell me you need it,” he moaned.

“I need it so bad…give me everything.”

To his delight, she squirmed her way on top of him and began kissing and licking her way down his body in the sunlight. Merle liked that there were suddenly no rules in the world, he liked Jacqui yanking down his boxers to blow him in the open air.

The music was still playing in the truck and he hoped it wouldn't attract trouble, but it was a perfect moment and he couldn't stop.

“How the hell did the end of the world bring me someone like you?” he asked.

“I don’t know, but I’m glad we found each other,” she smiled.

Merle still thought of Audra, he probably always would, but he was in love again and it felt so good.

Jacqui touched him just right, stroking his cock steadily; relentlessly drawing him to the edge. By the time her wet lips made contact with his hot, hard dick he was almost there. She ran her lips up and down the shaft and then took him deep with one smooth mouthful and his back arched off the grass and flowers below him.

“Damn, woman!” he groaned.

Jacqui worked his dick like it's all she ever wanted to do, and he looked down as she broke him in two. Her beautiful mouth was taking him in, and her sexy squinty eyes drove him wild. When he was just about there, he turned the tables and snatched her up to sit her on his lap again. He loved this position with her.

  
_ **Filthy impetuous soul** _ _ **  
** _ _ **I wanna give it to you** _ _ **  
** _ _ **Oh, just to see what you'd do** _ _ **  
** _ _ **'Cause I'm so drunk on you** _ _ **  
** _ _ **Baby, you're all that I want** _ _ **  
** _ _ **I want you all to myself** _ _ **  
** _ _ **Oh, but you know me too well** _  
  


Jacqui wrapped her arms around his neck and knelt on the grass on either side of his crossed legs. Merle filled her so completely and she shivered at the rush of lust and the emotions overtaking her. It crossed her mind that she loved him but didn’t know if he was ready to hear it, so she kept it inside her heart and mind for later. It had to be madness to feel that way already, but it felt like they’d already been through so much together.

He kissed her hard and held her by the back of her head with both hands like he was afraid she’d leave him. Merle’s touch was often desperate as if he needed her to breathe and she very quickly felt the same.

Nothing about them made any sense and she knew it. When the group realized that they were together, she could see it in their expressions. Nobody understood it. Jacqui could sort of understand their take on it, but they hadn’t seen the other side of him the way she had. They didn’t understand that he was grieving the loss of someone he had cared for deeply. They didn’t know that he had no home before the end, that he had suffered all of his life. Jacqui loved knowing things about him that no one else did. She loved being the one person he turned to for comfort and companionship.

Eventually, he lay her down on the flowers and kissed her forehead, ready to end the encounter with some slow sweetness and kissing. He fucked her slowly in the bright light of day and closed his eyes to kiss her over and over. With his face tucked into her neck, he whispered that he loved her, and she held onto him like a life raft.

“Don’t say anything if you don’t want…I just had to tell ya.”

She took his face in her hands and turned it toward her, forcing him to look her in the eye.

“I love you too…me and you are forever, you hear me?” she smiled.

He smiled down at her and they stayed laying in the flowers pretending that the world was full of hope and possibility for a good half hour before moving on.


	15. Rutledge

**How It All Went Down...**

**Chapter 15**

**Rutledge**

More arguing occurred before they managed to leave the quarry, but their minds were made up. Nobody wanted to be under anyone’s thumb anymore. Merle and Daryl were offering freedom and the small group they assembled believed that they could provide.

In only a short time, Daryl barely recognized his brother. Jacqui was changing him and somehow the world ending was helping his brother get his life straight.

They all hit the highway by about noon and Merle rode behind with Jacqui. Daryl sat next to Jim and Carol curled up with Sophia in the back. Apparently, the girl hadn’t said anything since learning that her father was dead and Carol was starting to worry. Daryl tried to assure her that it would pass, the poor kid had been through a lot and sometimes it took longer for children to process things.

“Where are we headed again?” Jim asked.

“Rutledge. It’s only about 40 minutes from here and it really ain’t shit but it’s where Merle wants to go for some reason. It’s as good as anywhere else I suppose.”

“True. All of my family is clear across the country and I lost contact before I left Atlanta. It doesn’t really matter where I go now.”

“Why were you away from your whole family?”

“Working in construction away from home when this shit happened. Couldn’t get a plane back or anything…I was just stranded here. I got a fiancé and I don’t even know if she’s OK.”

“I’m so sorry,” Carol said. “That must be horrible for you.”

“It is, but I have to bury it down deep cause there’s nothing I can do, not a damn thing.”

“I’m glad you came with us,” she offered. “We can try to make this next place as good as possible together.”

“Me and Merle can hunt and it’s still early enough that we can plant a garden. We’ll do what we can,” Daryl nodded.

/

They arrived in Rutledge and there were still some people there, but nobody was coming out to say hello. As expected, the house where Merle was raised looked smaller and almost pitiful on the outskirts of town. It was a typical rental property that nobody loved, it belonged to no one.

Merle couldn’t for the life of him figure out why he wanted to come to this place, but he felt drawn to it. He could tell that everyone had their apprehensions about it as they entered through a busted door.

“It needs work,” Merle began. “Gimme a day or two and it’ll do nicely. There’s a good patch of land around the house for planting too…it’s gonna be good.”

Jacqui smiled up at him for moral support and T-Dog looked skeptical, but Merle was sure of it somehow.

Inside there were 3 bedrooms upstairs and two in the basement. The place looked like a bomb had gone off, but it was as if Merle couldn’t see that. He walked Jacqui through the house and relived his childhood there.

“Daryl used to hide in this linen cupboard for hours when my dad was shit-faced. He’d crash in there some nights,” he chuckled.

“It’s a shame that things were so rough for you two.”

“It toughened us up. Maybe it will help us with the world being so shitty now. We can hunt and we’re used to going hungry if we strike out for a day or two.”

He took her hand and walked her up the staircase to his old bedroom where he could still detect where a hole had been punched in the drywall.

“He was such an asshole,” Merle sighed.

“And this place is where you want to be?” she inquired.

“It’s where I need to be, and I can’t figure it out. Do you hate it here?”

“No. I’ll be wherever you need to be, babe. We’ll make it great.”

/

Merle had brought along enough food and water from the quarry to get them set up for a few days even though Shane protested, and they had the guns they had taken along the way. Daryl was excited to set up a few targets on the surrounding land to practice his crossbow and by the time evening began to fall, everyone was settling in. Jim and T-Dog took the basement for themselves and upstairs Carol and Sophia took a room next to Daryl and Merle and Jacqui stayed in his old bedroom.

Daryl watched as Carol put new sheets on the bed for Sophia and promised her that he’d get the place sorted out better over the next couple of days.

“It’s OK. I’m just grateful to be here and away from that quarry. Another night in a tent and I was about to scream.”

They walked into the hallway and he focused on her slender neck and then her pretty eyes.

“She still not speaking?” he asked.

“Not yet…not even to me when we’re alone. It almost feels like maybe she’s mad at me.”

“Why would she be? I’m sure that’s not it.”

“I don’t know. I just wish the world would go back to normal.”

“Normal wasn’t so good for us though. Maybe this is a good thing.”

“How do you mean?”

“In the old world we were both abused and now we’re free. Sure, we ain’t got nothing and we have to start over, but this time we get to design our world. “

“I didn’t really think of it that way.”

“I could probably put a positive spin on anything,” he chuckled.

“I need that in my life right now,” she sighed.

“It’s gonna look brighter in a couple of days, I promise.”

“I believe you. Thanks for everything, Daryl.”

“You’re welcome. Let me know if you need anything. You and Sophia get a good night’s sleep.”

“We will. See you in the morning.”

/

Downstairs, Merle, Jacqui, Jim, T-Dog and Daryl chatted over a couple shots of whiskey as night fell.

“It doesn’t seem like that virus has made it out this far yet,” Merle commented. “But it looks like a bunch of people took off anyway. I don’t get it.”

“There’s still some people around,” Jim noted. “I took a little walk around earlier and there’s still some folks here, they're just cautious and they look at you out the windows.”

“Is there hunting around here?” T-Dog asked.

“Yeah, just a few miles out. Me and Merle used to walk out to the little wooded area with a stream not too far away and pick off rabbits and do some fishing. There’s deer in the area too.”

“This place is a real shithole,” T-Dog continued as if to give Merle the gears a little.

“Just wait a week, you won’t recognize it,” Merle grinned.

“Relax, Theo,” Jacqui argued. “He's doing his best. This place is going to work just fine.”

Merle wasn’t taking the bait. He planned to keep smiling and just work hard to make a new life for the group. T-Dog apparently wanted him to crack under the pressure and Merle understood it, he wanted to see if he was good enough for her. Merle had to respect that, Jacqui was worth it.

Daryl and Merle stayed up late securing the house while everyone else turned in. They couldn’t sleep until the doors and windows were bolted down. Merle had a feeling that it wouldn’t be long before the sick people were a problem and he wasn’t waiting for it to happen before he fortified their home. They found some nails in the basement and knocked down a busted wooden shed in the backyard to use the boards for the windows. It wouldn’t look pretty but it would be safe. Merle fixed the broken door so the deadbolt would latch and by midnight both men were dog tired.

“It’s gonna be good,” Merle yawned.

“Yeah…this was a good idea,” Daryl agreed.

“Nah, it was a crazy idea to come here but I just had to…I can’t explain it.”

“I’m with you, brother. You’re a different man already, you know?”

“I feel different.”

“A good woman will do that to ya,” Daryl winked.

“You got that right.”


	16. Back where it all began

**How It All Went Down **

**Chapter 16**

**Back where it all began**

It wasn’t long before neighbors came by to check out the new group in town. A guy that both Merle and Daryl knew from childhood stopped by and he filled them in on everything going on in the area. Thankfully, Carol was in the yard with Sophia, because what he had to tell them was shocking to them all.

“We had some people in the area get sick and we had to put 'em down in the end. We ain’t seen any more of those sick folks come through but it’s probably just a matter of time,” Axel sighed. “Sure never thought I’d see you two round here again.”

“Wait. Put them down?” Daryl asked. The statement almost sailed right passed him it was so casually spoken but he had to know what that meant. Why was euthanasia necessary?

“They turned,” Axel answered simply as if they knew what that meant.

“You're gonna have to spell that out, pal,” Merle sighed.

“After they die...they turn. Surely you guys have seen it.”

“Nope,” they answered in unison.

Axel looked around the room at what seemed to be the last people on Earth out of the loop and began to fill in the blanks.

“People started off with the flu, and it was a doozy. You guys at least know that part.”

“They all nodded.”

“When they died...they didn't stay dead. They came back angry. They come back as those creatures after they die.”

“That's not possible,” Merle noted.

“You ain't seen it happen, Merle. I have.”

“You're sure they're dead before this happens?” Jacqui asked.

“Sure as I'm sittin' here. They don't react to anything a living person would. I ain't no doctor but they got no heartbeat and they don't breathe, that's dead where I come from.”

“Oh my god,” T-Dog muttered.

“The thing is,” Axel added, “it's in the brain. You have to make sure the brain is damaged or it'll come back and like I said, they come back angry.”

“This sounds like vampires and shit,” Merle almost scoffed.

“I know, but we've had to do this and you know I wouldn't feed you bullshit. You have to put a bullet through their head or a blade, you have to do it. Trust me on that or you'll be sorry.”

Merle and Daryl nodded, knowing Axel wasn't the type to tell stories.

It scared the life out of the entire group, the idea that death no longer meant death. Everything was worse than they thought and they had no idea how to stay safe with such a threat.

“We're holding on here as best we can. You two being back here is a good thing,” Axel smiled, trying to cheer them up some.

“We got no choice but to keep going I guess but damn that's hard to believe, man,” Daryl shrugged.

“Just wait till you see it for the first time,” Axel sighed. “You just wait.”

Daryl's mind went back to the repo man in Atlanta and he knew it was true. He could tell from Merle's face that he believed it too.

“Well, things are a little tense around here cause supplies are runnin’ short but you two hunt, so maybe you can help out with food,” Axel suggested.

“We sure can. I think we need to get people planting and then we can preserve some food for the winter. We have to start acting like this is permanent cause it very well could be,” Daryl pressed.

“Good point. I think we could get everyone together and see what people have for seeds. There’s a nursery not far out of town and if they ain’t been raided yet we could really clean up on seeds and seedlings,” Axel mused.

“That’s a hell of an idea,” Merle grinned.

“Nobody knows much about the guy cause he never comes into town but you could try and reason with him,” Axel added.

“I'm pretty persuasive,” Merle chuckled.

“You must be,” T-Dog groaned. “You got my sister to go out with you.”

“Hey, shut it! You're gonna be my brother-in-law someday and your hatred of me is gonna make it awkward at Thanksgiving dinner,” Merle shot back with a grin.

To Merle's astonishment, T-Dog actually laughed and he knew it was possible to win him over.

Merle loved having something to do and something to work toward. If they all pulled together, this could be the beginning of something really good.

/

“I think me and Merle are gonna head out of town a couple miles to a nursery. We need seeds for planting, and they might have something.”

Carol liked the idea and said she’d be happy to get working in the yard to get the ground ready.

“I do have a bit of a green thumb if I do say so myself.”

“This is gonna be good. You and Sophia will be alright now, I promise.”

“I know. I feel better already…I just wish Sophia would speak.”

“She will when she’s ready. As soon as she realizes that she’s safe, she’ll open right up.”

“I can’t even explain how grateful I am that you’re helping us like this.”

“Hey, it’s all good. There’s no need to thank me or nothing. I just wanted to make sure you’re both OK.”  
“It’s just been so long since I had someone look out for us. I think you were right about the end of the world being a new beginning. I never expected to meet someone like you…”

It looked as though she felt like she'd said too much then and she shrugged, taking a step back.

“Who knows,” he smiled, “maybe we were supposed to meet. Do you believe in that?”

“I'm starting to,” she nodded.

She lowered her gaze to her simple canvas running shoes and he imagined bending down to brush his lips along her slender neck. She seemed so fragile but he knew that couldn't be true, she had survived Ed. Still, he wanted her to be able to rest her mind, knowing that someone else would be bearing the burden for a while.

/

Merle, Jim, and Daryl headed out in Daryl’s truck to the local nursery to see what could be scavenged and found that the owner was still hanging on. The owner was an elderly man with a grown special-needs son living with him.

“Hey there,” Merle began as they ran into him in his driveway.

“I have no money, I don’t have any valuables for you to take,” he almost pleaded.

“We aren’t here for that, but maybe you could help us with some seeds?” Daryl asked.

“Seeds?”

“We’re in Rutledge and starting to think about the winter,” Jim explained. “We could use some seeds to grow food before the weather turns. The stores already ain't got much on the shelves and who knows how long this disease will last?”

“Maybe we could make a trade for some meat,” Merle offered. “Me and my brother hunt, it’s all we have to barter with.”

“What about protection?” the man asked. “I’m in my 70s and my son isn’t able to care for himself. “Do you have anyone in town who could look out for us?”

“I can run daily patrols in the area if I have the gas,” Merle suggested.

“I got a couple of horses if you ride. I have gas on the property too. My name is Earl and I think we can work something out between us,” he smiled.

“I think so too,” Daryl nodded.

The man paused then before continuing, “If something should happen to me, there ain't nobody to look after my son...”

“We'll check on you daily and if something happens, we'll take care of him,” Jim told the man before checking with Merle and Daryl but they both nodded in agreement.

“Thank you for that. I've been worried about that. My son is autistic and he doesn't communicate very well.”

“No worries, man,” Merle nodded. “We're originally from the area and we all gotta look out for each other, right?”

They returned that night with boxes of seeds and full gas tanks. Merle agreed to keep an eye out for the man and his son. He could drive up daily on his bike to save gas and see how Earl was doing and check to see if anyone had been messing around on his land.

Jacqui loved that Merle was making such a good impression. T-Dog couldn’t deny that everything was looking up and that Merle wasn’t who he originally seemed to be.

That night, they all decided to celebrate for once. Plans were already in motion for a big hunt the next day and Carol and Jacqui had garden plots started around the house. Merle had a few bottles of whiskey left and everyone desperately needed to let loose for a change.

/

“Still won’t let me hear your voice, honey?” Carol began as she lay Sophia down to sleep in their shared bed. “I already miss hearing “I love you” at bedtime, but I understand. I hope you aren’t upset with me though…I know life was never easy with your father, but I wasn’t wishing him harm.”

“I know,” Sophia said softly.

Carol broke down then, just the sound of her voice was enough to reduce her to tears.

“I love you, honey…I’m so sorry everything happened like this. We’ll be safe here now, I promise.”

“I’m not mad at you. I'm just scared,” Sophia explained.

“I'm scared too, but Daryl says he's going to take care of us and I believe him.”

“I love you,” Sophia answered and reached up her little arms for a hug.

By the time Carol stepped into the hallway on the second floor, she knew that things would be OK. Sophia wasn’t too far gone, and she had hope for the future. She could hear people laughing downstairs and headed down to join them as Sophia drifted off.

Daryl looked up at her from across the living room and smiled.

“Hey, she alright?” he asked.

“She spoke to me.”

“Told you she'd come around,” he smiled.

“Yeah…I think she’ll be OK now.”

“She will,” he assured her.

“Thank you.”

“Come have a drink to celebrate,” he winked, and she sighed with a smile as she came to sit next to him.

It felt like a hundred years since Carol had a drink with friends and as the evening rolled on, she knew that this group of people could end up being more than friends to her. They could be a family.


	17. Plans

**How It All Went Down **

**Chapter 17**

**Plans**

Merle poured a long sip of whiskey down his throat and urged Jacqui back against his chest to wrap his arm around her waist. T-Dog was still weird about it but he didn't look angry anymore.

“You feelin' OK, honey?” he purred.

“I feel good, tired but good,” she smiled.

“Yep. It's all gonna be milk and honey from here on.”

Carol and Daryl sat across the living room with Jim and were chatting as the drinks were poured.

Merle could see that things were going to progress with Daryl and Carol, especially now that her little girl was talking again. It only made sense to pair up at the end of the world for support and Merle even wondered about having children someday. He was getting up there, but Jacqui was still more than young enough. It was probably too soon to think of such a thing, but why not? The old rules just didn't seem to apply anymore.

“Nobody in town seems to know anything about what's going on in the rest of the country,” Jim sighed. “I keep hoping that someone will have heard something about Utah, but nothing.”

“I'm sorry, man. I wish we could think of something to help you out, but it's a hell of a long way now with no reliable transportation,” Merle offered.

“Never lose hope though,” Daryl added, “if we can figure out a way to get you back to your girl it'll happen.”

“Thanks. The thing is...if I did make it all the way across the country, I don't even know if she's alive.”

The mood went down then and Merle wasn't having it.

“She's fine. If she didn't answer the phone it's cause she got somewhere safe and then you probably wasn't at home when she called you. She's fine and you're gonna find her, you hear?” he pressed.

“Yeah,” Jim smiled. “You're right. Hannah is the most hopeful person I ever met. I bet she's trying to get here as we speak and she'd find a way too, my girl is stubborn as the day is long.”

“Mine too,” Merle teased.

“Hey!” Jacqui giggled.

Daryl got up to take a smoke break outside and Carol followed. He didn't want to smoke in the house around Sophia.

“You feelin' OK?” he asked as he lit his cigarette.

“Calm, finally.”

“I never seen my brother this...stable before.”

“He does seem to have done 180 in only the short time I've known him.”

“He wasn't at his best when this all happened, he lost someone close to him.”

“Oh, I'm sorry to hear it. It makes sense now how he was acting.”

“He's always been a little wild but he was hurting really bad until he met Jacqui.”

“They are really sweet together, hey? It's nice to see people falling in love when everything else is such a mess.”

“I'm starting to think this isn't gonna be all bad.”

“Me neither.”

Daryl wanted to say something to make it more real before they became 'just friends' he wanted her to know that even though he wasn't trying to rush her, he liked her a lot.

“Carol...”

“Yes?”

“I'm glad Sophia's feeling better...I'm glad to see you smiling again...you got a pretty smile.”

She didn't seem to know what to say to him then and he wondered if it was a little too much too soon.

“Sorry,” he shrugged, kicking at the dirt to fidget his way out of it.

“No, it's OK. It's just been ages since anyone said something like that to me.”

“That's a crime. Someone should be telling you you're pretty every day.”

“You're so sweet,” she smiled.

“Maybe that someone could be me,” he suggested.

“Maybe,” she smiled and looked down again at her shoes.

He didn't expect her to commit to anything so soon after Ed but he was enjoying this kind of flirtation. He'd never taken it slow before and this woman had a daughter to consider. Daryl needed to get to know Sophia a little before he moved in on her mother too much. The idea of playing 'daddy' was foreign to him, but he'd try his best.

/

They were all half cut by what was likely just after midnight and Merle was eager to be alone with Jacqui in his old bedroom so he winked at her, prompting her to follow him when he got up.

“This was really your room, huh?” she said as he closed the door behind them and began to pull a sheet over an old mattress.

“Yeah. Still, don't know why I needed to be here. Maybe it's cause this is where it all went wrong in the first place.”

“What happened to you when you were young?” she asked softly.

“It's not an interesting or original story really. My dad was just a bad, drunk person who drilled it into my head that I didn't matter and I believed it.”

“You were living on the street before all this happened, you said.”

“Yep. I'm telling you, this is the straightest my head has been in years. I don't know why but it was like hitting the reset button for me. I want more now, you wouldn't believe the things I got planned and I don't even know what tomorrow will bring,” he laughed.

“Care to share your plans?” she pressed as they both sat down on the bed.

“I wanna get this place all fixed up, get a garden planted and hunt with Daryl to make sure everyone's fed and then...I wanna see about settling down if it all goes well.”

“Like...getting married?”

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Like marriage and kids and growin' old together. Dumb, huh?”

“You want all this with me already?” she smiled.

“Seems we ain't really got any time to lose, honey, and I could never find a better woman than you...I'd die for you, you know? Already I'd do any damn thing just to make you happy. You gave me something to live for.”

“Merle...”

She was tearing up and he felt bad, pulling her into his arms and laying back on the bed. They cuddled for the next hour in near silence, he'd kiss her cheek or her neck here and there and whisper 'I love you' in the darkness. Jacqui had never been so at peace before.

/

Daryl and Merle were up at dawn to go hunting and Jacqui was so wrecked that she didn't even wake up when he rolled out of bed and stubbed his toe, swearing and hissing at the pain.

He left her a note next to the bed and kissed her forehead before heading down to meet Daryl.

“We'll try for a buck and share a little with that man and his son,” Daryl suggested.

“Sounds good to me.”

“I wanna make a go of it with Carol, I want to tell her,” Daryl blurted.

“You don't let the paint dry, do ya?” Merle laughed.

“Nah...I wanted to wait cause it felt like the right thing to do but why? She was wanting to be rid of him anyway and I like her, I think she likes me back.”

“What about her kid?”

“I need to ingratiate myself to her first, I know. I'm not great with kids so I don't really know how to go about it.”

“Go with your gut and just be natural, kids can tell when you're being phony. That kid especially can probably really read people after what she's been through.”

“It's like night and day,” Daryl mused.

“What?”

“You. You're so different already.”

“I know, and I'm glad about that. It's like the world went all fucked up and shook me straight. I don't really get it.”

Daryl just smiled, he had hoped for some positive change in his brother for years and it felt like having the old Merle back from his childhood.

They headed out to hunt and walked the land of their boyhood like not a day had passed. The trees all looked the same if only a little taller and the same fresh breeze blew over their skin. Merle took a deep breath and realized that Audra's necklace was still in his pocket. He stopped for a moment to look at it and then noticed a spruce tree with a short upward branch where he could hang it. It was only an object and he didn't feel right giving it to Jacqui, he would find her something new instead, he wanted to lay Audra to rest and this was the only way he could.

Daryl watched him hang it from the tree and Merle decided to tell him about what he'd done.

“You know the guy that killed Audra?” he began.

“Not personally, thank Christ,” Daryl scoffed.

“We me and Jacqui were separated from the group back there, I found him.”

“Didn't know you were looking for him.”

“I wasn't. He just kinda appeared. I found a girl wearing Audra's necklace and I just knew she'd be with him. He came back for the girl and I killed him.”

“What the fuck?”

“It all happened in front of Jacqui too,” he sighed.

“Jesus Christ,” Daryl muttered.

“Think differently about me now?” Merle asked.

“You're my brother.”

“So that's a no?”

“Of course it's a no. I'm just kinda stunned. But you killed a prick that hurt God knows how many innocent women...you did the world a favor.”

“You think?”

“Hell yeah. What the hell did Jacqui do though?”

“I scared the life out of her I think, and I ran from the place cause I couldn't face her...and then she came to find you.”

“She's a keeper.”

“She said she knew that it wasn't really me, that I must have had a good reason. Who does that?” Merle mused.

“Does what?”

“Who sees someone do something that evil...and I didn't even tell her why I was killing him, I didn't tell her shit about it. Who sees someone killing a person and just assumes they have a reason? She barely even knew me at the time.”

“I don't know why she did it, but she was right about you so I'd just go with it. Maybe she's the one.”

“You believe in that 'the one' stuff?” Merle grinned.

“Why not? Maybe you should believe in it too. How many women would have done what she did?”

“You got a point there. I guess I kinda believed in that stuff, just not for me. Thought when they were handing out soulmates I got skipped,” he laughed.

“If you ever had a soulmate, it's her. Don't fuck it up,” Daryl noted.

“Nope, I ain't gonna fuck it up if it kills me.”

/

Jacqui rolled over when the sun began to tug at her eyelids and felt around in the bed for Merle before remembering that he was probably gone hunting already. She sat on the edge of the bed and picked up a piece of folded paper from beside the bed.

_ **I could have stayed in bed with you all day but I need to make sure you're fed and cared for. Keep the bed warm, honey.** _

_ **love you, Merle xoxo** _


	18. A Kiss In The Dark

**How It All Went Down **

**Chapter 18**

**A Kiss in the Dark**

They managed to bag a deer within the first three hours after a long talk where Merle unburdened himself to his brother. He wasn't surprised by the response from Daryl. As expected, Daryl said that anyone would have done it and the world was better off without a man like Troy.

They gutted the buck in the bush and loaded it in the truck but stopped to take some to meat to Earl in exchange for the seeds.

They pulled up and Merle separated some of the meat to take inside.

“Stay out here, boys,” Earl warned from the door.

“Why? What's wrong?”Daryl asked.

“Me and my son ain't feeling so well...a touch of fever.”

“Yeah?” Merle frowned. “You got anywhere to store some meat?”

“Just leave it in the garage, I'll open the door with the remote.”

Earl went back inside and opened the garage door for Merle to deliver the meat.

“Do you have medicine?” Daryl asked. “What kind of sickness do you have?”

“Yeah, we got Tylenol and lots of fluids so we should be OK. It's just a flu or something...but nothing like what those other people got!”

“Hey, Earl, relax,” Merle jumped in. “We ain't sayin' nothing like that.”

“Sorry...I just don't want people comin' down here thinking we're dangerous. Like I said, I can't defend us from anyone who gets the wrong idea.”

“I'll patrol the area tomorrow and we won't say a word, just go inside and get better OK?” Merle assured him.

“Thanks, guys, for the meat and keeping it quiet.

/

“You really think it's just a flu?” Daryl asked.

“Probably. We'll just keep an ear out and see how it goes. Just a fever by the sound of it.”

“Yeah, I'm sure it's nothing.”

Merle and Daryl came back to happy but tired people. Everyone had been busting their behinds in the garden all day and the line up for the shower was long. Eventually, everyone was clean and relaxed and Merle went to bed early after eating supper with a bit of a headache.

Daryl watched as Sophia sitting amid a bunch of adults, she looked lost. Her mother was folding laundry in the other room so he took the chance to say something, but words were hard to find.

“Hey. Uh...I was thinkin' that maybe I could put up a tire swing for you in the backyard, if you wanted one.”

“A tire swing?”

“Yeah, you never been on a tire swing before?”

“No.”

She looked like she was about to get into trouble for talking to him and kept her answers short but he could tell he had piqued her interest with the word 'swing'.

“They're lots of fun, you just get a strong rope and tie a tire on the branch of a tree. You'd have something fun to do then while everyone is busy in the garden. What do you think?”

“Yes,” she smiled.

“Great! I'll get going on it now and you'll be swinging by morning.”

“Thank you...”

“Daryl.”

“Thank you, Daryl.”

“It's no problem. I know things have been tough lately, but you and your mom are going to be safe now.”

“OK.”

“Keep your chin up, kiddo.”

“Keep my chin up?”

“It just means don't be down, keep looking up and stay positive.”

“Oh. I get it.”

Daryl smiled and nodded and went outside to put up the swing before life got busy again. The first conversation went well and he was excited to see if he could have both Carol and Sophia in his life for good.

/

Carol was putting Sophia to bed and tucking her in when she heard all about the swing and almost cried at how happy her daughter was.

“He said it will be done in the morning, can I play on the swing tomorrow?”

“Of course you can, honey. I want you to try to be happy even if things are a little scary at times. All we can do is make the best of it.”

“Keep my chin up?”

Carol laughed, “Yeah, where did you hear that?”

“Daryl.”

“He's right. We all have to keep our chins up. Life might not always be easy, but we have to be there for each other and try our best, right?”

“Right.”

Sophia yawned and Carol kissed her goodnight.”

She found Daryl and Jim outside admiring their handiwork a few minutes later and she shook her head with approval.

“Nice job, boys.”

“I can hear your little girl squealing now,” Jim commented. “Tire swings are the best.”

“Thank you so much, guys. She needs something just like this to take her mind off what happened.”

Jim was called inside by T-Dog and left Daryl and Carol standing under the stars.

“We had a talk and I asked her if she'd like this,” he explained.

“I know, she told me.”

“Oh, cool,” he nodded.

“She's really excited to play tomorrow.”

“That's awesome. I think it's safe enough too. There's nice soft grass here anyway if she does happen to tumble off,” he noted.

“You don't know what this means to me, Daryl...everything you've done for us.”

Daryl could tell that she was a little overcome with emotion, so he took a step closer to lay his hand on her upper arm.

“Hey, it's all good. I'm happy to do anything I can for you two.”

“You owe us nothing...but you've been so kind to us.”

“It ain't no hardship for me...I like you.”

Her blue eyes met his in the light of bright rural stars and he knew then that he could kiss her, that he should kiss her in fact.

He move in slow enough for her to back away if he was wrong, but she didn't. There in the backyard of his childhood home where scarcely a good memories existed, he made a good one with Carol.

She held him by his elbows gently as he touched her face and kissed her a few times; nice, soft, simple kisses. He could feel her trembling under his touch and knew that this was probably huge for her. She had been with Ed for a good while and it probably felt very strange to be close to anyone else after living in fear of him.

When he finally backed up, he wanted to reassure her that he wasn't going to push her.

“I don't expect anything...if you need to take your time I understand,” he said softly.

She smiled then and shook her head in blissful disbelief.

“I don't know where you came from, or why I had to go through years of hell before we met, but I could easily rush this...it feels like I've been waiting forever for you to find me.”

“I could rush it to,” he confessed.

They sat for a while in the backyard before heading to bed and Daryl felt like he suddenly had everything he ever wanted. He couldn't wait to tell Merle, but he had crashed early with a headache so it would have to wait till morning.


	19. Don't You Dare Leave Me

**How It All Went Down **

**Chapter 19**

**Don't you dare leave me**

Jacqui woke up the next day and knew it was going to be a scorcher, the bed she shared with Merle was burning up.

“Ugh, tell me there's air conditioning here, babe,” she laughed, but Merle only groaned. “Babe?”

Jacqui rolled over to find him red-faced and burning up with fever.

“Merle! Oh my god! You're sick...I'll go get someone,” she exclaimed.

“Sorry, honey. I thought it was just a headache, you shouldn't be near me. I don't want you to catch it.”

“Don't be crazy. I'll go get you some water.”

Jacqui ran to tell Daryl and they both checked on him.

“We can't even tell how high the fever is without a thermometer,” Daryl noted.

“Damn it, well we need to get something. He's burning up,” she exclaimed.

“Wait! Edgar said he has some, him and his son had fever yesterday. That must be where you picked this up, Merle.”

“Must have been,” Merle noted weakly. “You two shouldn't be near me though, you're gonna catch it.”

“I'm not going anywhere,” Jacqui noted.

“I'll go check up on Edgar and get him some Tylenol. I won't be long.”

“Thanks,” Merle nodded and then rolled over to what he hoped what a cooler side of the pillow.

Daryl stopped to speak to Carol before leaving and asked her to keep Sophia away from Merle.

“He's running a fever, shouldn't be anything too serious. The guy, Edgar from the nursery and his son had it too, but I don't want you two getting sick. Jacqui was with him all night so she's been exposed anyway and she's taking care of him now.”

“Be safe out there,” she pressed.

“Yeah, I'll see if Jim will come with me.”

“Good idea.”

/

Daryl and Jim headed out in the truck to pick up some medicine and it was clear that Jim was paranoid.

“What if he's got it?” he began cautiously.

“He doesn't have it, whatever the hell 'it' is? It's just a fever,” Daryl brushed it off.

“Hope so, all we need is everyone getting sick and we don't even know how to cure this thing.”

They pulled up at Edgar's place and knocked on the door. Daryl noticed the horses Edgar mentioned standing in a corral off to the right of the house and watched them for a moment as they waited.

“No answer. Maybe he's out?” Jim suggested.

“Don't think he goes anywhere much. He's got a son with special needs. What's the son's name anyway?” Daryl asked.

“Mark, I think I heard him say that when he was loading up seeds for us.”

They heard a loud bang inside and then what sounded like someone moaning or crying. Daryl knocked louder on the door and still no answer, so he tried the knob and decided to just go in.

“Edgar?” he called loudly. “It's just Daryl and Jim from town, you OK?”

They heard more of what was now more clearly crying and followed the sound. A man of about 30 at a guess was wailing over the body of Edgar, this must be the son, thought Daryl. Edgar appeared to be dead and his son was beyond distraught.

“What happened?”

It became evident that Edgar's son had trouble communicating due to his autism and that he was understandably upset.

“Mark? Your father passed away...was it from the fever?”

Something in Mark's expression showed understanding and Daryl tried to determine if Mark was sick too.

“Are you feeling sick too, Mark? We have a man who's sick as well. Can we help you? Do you want to come back with us to a house in town?”

They tried to persuade Mark to come with them but he was tall and strong and wouldn't leave his father. Jim suggested they just try to take the body and he would stay with Mark until they decided what to do.

Daryl noticed a cross on the wall and a religious calendar and tried to explain to Mark that he wanted to take his father's body to church for a proper burial.

“We can have a funeral for your dad...will you please let us take him to town, to church?”

It took some time, Edgar was obviously everything in the world to Mark so they took the time they needed. After some time, Mark allowed Jim to check his forehead for fever and Daryl was happy to see that Mark's fever had broken and he appeared to be fine. That meant that Merle would probably be fine as well. Thankfully, Mark allowed them to take his father's body and Jim knew that they needed to make sure it was really the end of the old man.

“So what if this guy comes back?” Jim noted.

“No idea. I guess I need to do what Axel said...but I don't know, man.”

“If you don't he could come back and kill you or someone else, you don't have a choice.”

“You wanna do it?” Daryl asked.

“No, but I will,” Jim nodded pulling a blade from his pocket.

“Jesus...this is messed up.”

“Do you believe what Axel said?” Jim pressed.

“Yeah, Axel's no bullshitter.”

“Then we don't have any other option.”

Jim sank the blade deep through the old man's temple and it made a sick squishy sound as he withdrew the blade.

“Well, he ain't gonna be bothering you on the way now,” Jim noted.

“Thanks, man. I guess I'll need to get over that.”

“You hunt, you wouldn't think this would bug you so much.”

“Animals are animals, this is a person.”

“We'll have to do it though, unless we all wanna end up like him.”

“True. Take care of his kid and I'll be back.”

“Alright, see ya.”

Daryl brought Edgar's body in the back of the truck, wrapped in a quilt, back to Rutledge and knocked on the doors of the local church. An apprehensive minister opened the door and agreed to take over. He allowed Daryl to take the body down to the basement of the church and the minister said he'd try to pull a little something together for Mark in terms of a funeral. The minister knew them both but said they didn't have family in the area.

“Thanks,” Daryl said. “And maybe keep it a little quiet if he has no family...we don't want to panic people.”

“Good idea. Is he really...dead?” the minister asked.

“I took care of it, no worries.”

Daryl didn't want to raise the alarm for another reason, Merle was still sick and like Edgar said, it was wise to not get everyone freaked out.

Finally, Daryl returned to the house to find Jacqui in a panic about Merle and desperate for medicine.

“What took you?” she asked when he walked into Merle's old bedroom.

“The man at the nursery passed away, I had to take his body to the church. Jim is still with his son.”

“The man who had a fever is now dead?” she whispered, even though Merle was clearly sleeping.

“Yeah, but his son had a fever too and he appears to be fine now. Edgar was 70 if he was a day, Merle is still pretty young and fit. He should be fine in a day or two.”

“I sure hope so, he hasn't eaten anything all day.”

“Is he drinking though?”

“A little.”

“Just make sure he gets fluids and I'm sure he'll eat when he feels better. For a big guy, he actually doesn't eat that much. Have you had a break yet?”

“No, I'm fine.”

“I'll bring you something to eat and more water for you both, Daryl offered and she nodded, returning to Merle's bedside.

“Thanks, Daryl.”

She turned to look back at Merle, a thin layer of sweat over his forehead as he slept had returned only moments after she wiped his head with a cool cloth. He didn't look good and she couldn't stop thinking that a man had just died from something similar only a few miles away.

“Don't you leave me,” she whispered and took hold of his hand. “We only just found each other, don't you dare leave me.”


	20. For You

**How It All Went Down**

**Chapter 20**

**For You**

“Jacqui?”

It was the middle of the night but to Jacqui, it felt like one long day since Merle fell ill. She looked up to see her brother calling her from the door, looking very concerned.

“How's he doing?”

“Still fevered, throwing up, shivering, out of it most of the time...I think I'm losing him already,” she winced. “I can't take this.”

“I was thinking, maybe I could go find a doctor somewhere.”

“Where would you ever find a doctor in all this mess?” she sighed.

“I could try Athens, it's not too far. I have to try, for you.”

“You'd do that?”

“I don't really get it, but you obviously love him.”

“There's so much that nobody saw when we were away from the group...he's worth it, Theo. I don't want to be without him now.”

“Daryl went back to Edgar's place a few hours ago to help Jim out with Edgar's son and Carol is staying here with Sophia. I'll go and see what I can find for help. I'll do what I can.”

“It's the middle of the night, though?” she pointed out.

“It's all good. I prefer traveling at night and he doesn't look like he should be kept waiting.”

Jacqui wanted to hug him but she was being cautious to keep her distance from the rest of the group.

“I love you, Theo. Please be safe.”

“I will be. Wake him up and make him drink something,” T-Dog suggested.

“Thank you,” she nodded.

/

Daryl was stunned when he returned to Edgar's house to discover that there was so much more to the property than met the eye. There was a windmill, solar panels, and a fully stocked cellar. A barn further down the field from the coral revealed a healthy number of goats that could be used for milk and meat. Jim was becoming acquainted with Edgar's son, Mark, after many hours of silence. Mark preferred to write and liked things to be a certain way. He was starting to open up to them a little and it was helpful.

“We promised your father that we would look out for you if he passed away, Mark,” Daryl explained. “Jim says that you wanted to stay here on the property and this is your home so that's exactly what will happen. Would you be willing to have a few more people staying here though? We need more people to tend to the animals and the land.”

Mark thought about it and wrote:

{yes, as long as nobody changes my room}

“Nobody will touch your things, we promise. This is still your home, Mark. We just want to be here to help and to tend to things.”

Mark nodded and Daryl was glad to see that progress was possible with him. He scoured the house for medicine and almost sobbed when he located a medicine chest and first aid kit in the basement. There were electrolyte fluids, a plethora of basic medicines and he raced back to the Rutledge to bring some relief to Merle if he could. Jim stayed with Mark and it was understood that he would most likely remain at the property for good since Mark needed assistance with daily living.

/

Daryl got back as the sun was coming up and wasn't too surprised to find Jacqui still awake and holding Merle's hand.

“Still no change?” he asked when he entered the room.

“Not really. He did drink some water and we spoke for a little bit.”

“You go and get some food. I got this. I have medicine and fluid for him.”

“But-”

“Jacqui, you're no good to him or yourself all burnt out. I got this.”

“Fine,” she nodded and kissed Merle's forehead before leaving the room.

“Hey, brother,” he nudged him to get him to wake up. “You got a hell of a woman there.”

“I know...she's so good to me,” he answered without opening his eyes.

Daryl bent down to sit him up and forced him to take some Gravol and Advil and then finish an energy drink.

“I can't keep it down,” Merle protested.

“You got Gravol in your system now, it'll stay down.”

“Hope so.”

“Open up,” Daryl instructed and placed a thermometer from Edgar's house under his tongue.

After a moment he shook his head at the result.

“104, Jesus! You're cookin', brother.”

“I feel like I ain't long for this world to be honest,” he said in a moment of complete lucidity. “Can you promise me something?”

“Don't start that shit, Merle. You're gonna be fine.”

“Please, Daryl...listen to me while I can still say this.”

“Fine...but you're gonna be fine in a day or two,” Daryl stressed.

“I need you to make sure Jacqui is OK, I know she has her brother, but make sure they're both OK.”

“I will, of course, but like I said before-”

“Daryl...I really think this might be it for me,” he answered weakly.

“Don't say that, man. I can't do this without you.”

“You can, you got nothing but good things coming. You and Carol are gonna be a family with that little girl...it's gonna be great.”

“Jacqui needs you so cut this shit out and fight, Merle,” Daryl growled under his breath.

Merle was fading in and out of consciousness and Daryl wanted to shake him to bring back the Merle he knew, the loud and cocky man who could be taken down by nothing.

“I woulda had...” Merle began but paused to catch his breath.

“What are you saying, Merle? Go on.”

“I woulda had a baby with her if I had more time...”

He went off then, likely as a result of the Gravol and its drowsiness effect and Daryl fought back tears at his bedside until Jacqui returned.

“Did he say something to you?” Jacqui asked from the door, looking hopeful.

“He said he's feeling a little better...maybe he's on the mend,” Daryl lied.

How could he tell her that Merle was in the process of checking out?

##########################

_ **Merle opened his eyes to find that the fever was finally gone and stretched his body with the sun on his face.** _

“_**Hey, you.”**_

_ **He knew that voice.** _

“_**Christ,” he whispered.**_

_ **Audra was sitting in the corner of a room he didn't recognize smiling at him.** _

“_**My redneck prince...I missed you.”**_

“_**I missed you too,” he muttered. “So...I didn't make it?”**_

“_**It's still up in the air. This is probably just your mind fucking with you,” she laughed.**_

“_**I'm sorry about what happened to you.”**_

“_**Me too. But I'm glad you settled the score with that greasy fuck for me...I feel avenged,” she winked.**_

“_**I would have done more for you if I had been a better man, Audra. I could have had you somewhere safe and taken care of you right.”**_

“_**Maybe...but it's all behind us now. I couldn't help but notice that you replaced me already.”**_

“_**I wasn't looking for it,” he explained. “Jacqui just walked into my life and...she was so nice to me.”**_

“_**You deserve that. I was just kidding.”**_

“_**She didn't treat me like trash and it just floored me. We were invisible, you and I. Nobody cared if we lived or died not long ago...and then Jacqui wanted to be near me, she wanted to listen to things I had to say...she wanted to be my girl and she could have anyone.”**_

“_**Sounds like you better get your ass back then, doesn't it?” she grinned.**_

“_**Can I go back? Is it not too late?”**_

“_**I don't think so...I just wanted to see you one more time. I know this new woman loves you, Merle...but so did I.”**_

“_**Did you?” he smiled. “you never said it to me.”**_

“_**Well, I did. You were my soft place to fall, you were the only one in those last few years to make me feel any peace. In my heaven it's just me and you, high as a kite in Pitman Park making shapes in the clouds.”**_

“_**You get to pick your own heaven here?” he smiled.**_

“_**I sure do, and in my heaven, it's us till the end of time.”**_

“_**I'm so fucking sorry that I failed you.”**_

_ **Audra got up and walked toward him and lay her hands on his face. She kissed him slowly and softly and it was so real he couldn't help crying as she let him go.** _

“_**You never failed me, my redneck prince...sometimes things just happen. Now get the hell outta here,” she winked. “Maybe name your daughter after me.”**_


	21. Gerry

**How It All Went Down**

**Chapter 21**

**Gerry**

T-Dog drove for miles toward Athens on nothing but instant coffee, and hope. Everyone was exhausted. The days were filled with worry about a hundred little things and now with Merle sick, it was also a big thing as well. The sky was still black but he could feel dawn creeping in as well. A faint light was beginning to brew in the distance where the sky met land.

_ **What happens when we run out of gasoline, food, toilet paper? How much longer will the power stay on? How much longer will we have access to clean running water and indoor plumbing?** _

All day they tried to balance between not panicking and also being prepared for when these problems did come, as they surely would. There still wasn't much for outside information, it was all mostly rumors. For all of his life, the TV informed him of what was happening in the world outside his door. T-Dog couldn't help but feel abandoned by the establishment. Where was the news now that there was something important to cover?

He sighed and hoped like hell he could find Merle some help. For the life of him, he couldn't understand Jacqui's love for him. He didn't hate Merle but he was nothing like his sister. What did they have in common? What happened during their time together that made her fall so hard? He would just have to trust that she knew him better than everyone else and that this was all worth it.

He stopped once to siphon gas from a car left on the side of the road and carried on until Athens appeared on the horizon. It wasn't a large place but they had a medical center, and maybe someone was left who knew how to cure the flu.

He was just about within the city limits when he noticed two women walking along the road in the dark. One appeared to be in her 50s, tall with grey hair, and the other was 30 or so at a guess. The woman in her 50s had a large hiking backpack and the other woman was pulling a suitcase with wheels that looked like it had seen better days. As he slowed down to take in the scene better, he could see that the younger woman was shorter than the other woman and had short black hair, a round face, and striking green eyes. They seemed to be unarmed and he felt like he should offer them a lift. He never would have picked someone up in the old world but they were obviously heading to Athens and he could save them a good 6 or 7 miles of walking.

He stopped alongside the pair and rolled his window down, trying to assess quickly if they looked healthy.

“Hey, did you need a lift into Athens?”

“Uh...sure,” the older of the women answered.

“I'm sure you don't normally get in cars with strangers and I don't normally pick strangers up but things are a little different now, huh?” he smiled. “I'm Theo.”

“I'm Gerry, this is my daughter Hannah.”

Where had he heard that name recently? Hannah...he couldn't quite place it but sleep had been in short supply so it didn't surprise him.

“Hey, I swear I'm not a bad guy,” T-Dog assured them. “I'm just going into Athens trying to find medical help for a friend back in Rutledge.”

“We're trying to get to Atlanta but it's slow going,” Gerry grumbled. “Been on the road since this all went down and just about had it.”

“Dangerous out on the road, hey?” he asked as they climbed into the truck.

“Those fucking people are everywhere, the sick ones,” Hannah sighed. “We've been fighting for our lives for weeks and Atlanta just seems to get further away every time the damn car breaks down.”

“You two must be tough cookies to have been traveling so long. Where you coming from?”

“Salt Lake City,” Gerry answered. “What kind of medical help do you need anyway?”

“My sister's man has a horrible flu...but we don't think it's what these other folks have. It just seems to be a normal kinda flu.”

“You can't be sure what it is. Be careful around him,” she warned.

“Yeah...but my sister loves this guy. I need to try.”

“Maybe you could help, mom,” Hannah suggested.

“Maybe.”

“You a doctor?” T-Dog asked with excitement.

“I'm an RN,” Gerry answered.

“If we can promise to get you to Atlanta, would you be willing to just look at him?” he begged. “Please. We have a good group of people and lots of fresh meat...supplies. We can get you to Atlanta no problem.”

“We should help, mom.”

“You really don't think this guy is infectious?” Gerry pressed.

“He caught it from another person but it's not spreading to everyone else. I was near him and my sister and his brother too, none of us caught anything.”

“I'll take a look, but I can't promise anything. I only have limited supplies.”

“Thank God. Thanks so much,” he sighed. “Anything you can do is more than appreciated.”

He turned the truck around and was headed back to Rutledge before ever reaching Athens.

/

Carol made Jacqui eat some food and take a short nap, but she was back at Merle's bedside in no time. Daryl was falling apart and Carol could hardly bear to look at him. It was early morning and it felt like nobody had gotten real rest since Merle got sick.

“He'll be OK,” she said softly. “Theo will find help.”

“Where will he ever find someone in this world now?” Daryl sighed. “It's hopeless.”

“Don't let go of hope just yet,” she urged. “We need to believe that he's meant to be here, that there's more to this world than pain.”

Sophia was playing outside on her tire swing and Daryl took Carol's hand in his own. He needed to hang on to anything and her hope was strong while his was almost gone.

“Merle is all I ever had...he's the only one who knows everything about me and what we both went through. I don't want to even think what life would be like without him.”

“He seems too strong to me. I can't imagine this flu beating him. I have a good feeling that things are going to be OK.”

“I wish I had your optimism,” he sighed.

“I don't even know where this feeling is coming from, but I'm going to trust it.”

He smiled and leaned over as she wrapped her arm around his shoulder. Daryl closed his eyes and let himself rest for a moment against her. He needed someone to help him carry the burden and she was right there offering to lift his spirits.

They both heard the truck pull up at the same time and Daryl frowned in confusion.

“He can't have gotten there and looked around yet. What the hell is he doing back so soon?”

Carol raced to the door to find T-Dog approaching the house with two women she'd never seen before.

“Hey guys, I found an RN! This is Gerry and her daughter Hannah,” he smiled as the two groups shook hands.

“Where's the patient?” Gerry asked.

She took her backpack and followed Daryl up the stairs to Merle's bedroom. Jacqui stood up immediately and was apparently stunned to see someone new brushing passed her and taking her spot next to Merle.

“Daryl?” she asked, wanting to be filled in.

“This is Gerry, she's an RN. Your brother found her and she says she'll try to help him.”

“Thank God almighty!” Jacqui sobbed as the exhaustion overcame her.

“He doesn't look good,” Gerry winced. “Don't thank me just yet. Open a window and get a little air in this room, it's like a tomb. I need some running water too.”

Gerry was like a bee buzzing around the room, running to the bathroom for a few items like towels and a glass of water. Jacqui watched in amazement as a woman she'd never met began to treat Merle. She seemed to know exactly what she was doing.

“Open your eyes for me,” she said in a tone that was less of a request and more of an instruction. Gerry gently smacked his cheeks a few times until he obeyed her and he looked lost when he found a new person next to him.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“The name is Gerry, let's get you out of these clothes and get you washed up.”

“Huh?” he croaked and began to cough.

“Just as I thought. He needs to get himself vertical, that cough don't sound good,” Gerry scolded. She was an old school nurse who didn't play games.

In only a few minutes she had washed Merle up and helped him change into fresh clothes. She even changed the bed linen without even getting him up, she just rolled him over and back once again and the bed had new sheets.

“Can't work in a messy area with a patient drenched in sweat. Bet you feel more human already,” she smiled.

“The air is nice too,” he noted.

Jacqui stood silently in the corner and was amazed at how much different he looked already.

“I have some antiviral medicine that I can try but it's usually best to give it within 48 hours of first symptoms. Has it been longer than that?” she asked.

“A little,” Jacqui winced.

“Still, it's worth a shot. It blocks Influenza A and B. We'll just hope he's got one of those.”

She treated him for dehydration and got the fever to break within two hours with medicine from her hiking backpack. She made him sit up, propped against pillows, to prevent infection from settling on his lungs after listening to his chest with a stethoscope and commenting that it sounded a little 'rattly'.

Jacqui was stunned with her and just shook her head with disbelief when Merle was drinking chicken broth by noon. Gerry seemed to have a magical bag of tricks that turned him from a man at death's door to a man who looked like he was just taking a sick day from work.

Gerry finally made her way downstairs when Merle had finished drinking the broth and was stable.

“He's just up there with Jacqui. He needs to stay off his back or it'll get into his lungs, it was already starting to. You get pneumonia with no hospital around, and you're pretty much fucked,” she noted.

Hannah was outside watching over Sophia and Daryl, Carol and T-Dog thanked her profusely.

“You're a miracle worker,” Carol beamed.

“Nope, just doing my job. I'll stay still he's 100% in a day or so if that suits you all but then you said you'd get us to Atlanta?” she asked.

“Anywhere you want to go,” Daryl exclaimed. “Anything you need.”

Daryl offered them a meal and a drink of whiskey which Gerry happily accepted. Carol prepared deer meat with potatoes she had been given by Axel's girlfriend and called Hannah and Sophia in from the yard.

“I'll just take some food up for Jacqui, maybe Merle will even eat a little,” Carol grinned.

“So what's in Atlanta anyway? Family?” T-Dog asked as they all began to eat.

Nobody could believe the answer when they explained who they were looking for...


	22. Hannah

**How It All Went Down **

**Chapter 22**

**Hannah**

“It's a long shot, but this hopeless romantic over here persuaded me to go on a cross country trek for her boyfriend,” Gerry sighed.

“Fiance, mom.”

“Just kidding, honey,” Gerry teased. “We're almost there now too. We might find him.”

“I hope so. I only hope Jim didn't go looking for me, he could be halfway to Utah by now.”

“Jim?” Daryl exclaimed. “Holy shit! Hannah! That's the name he said wasn't it?”

He was posing this question to Carol and she scrunched up her face trying to recall.

“You know, I think it was,” she noted.

“Mind explaining what you're all talking about?” Hannah laughed.

“The Jim you're looking for, is he tall, slim with dark hair and a goatee?” Daryl asked.

“Jim Bravikov?” she demanded to know.

“That's him,” T-Dog nodded.

“Where is he? Is he OK?” Hannah almost wept.

The room was a ball of emotions when it became clear that they had very good news for Jim, who was still back at Edgar's property taking care of Mark.

“I'll take you to him,” Daryl offered. “He's only a few miles from here.”

“Oh my God!” Hannah exclaimed, breaking down and holding onto her mother.

Carol wiped a few tears away and in no time Daryl was out the door with Gerry and Hannah.

/

“You hungry, Mark?”

Jim had developed a sort of communication with Mark that involved nodding, hand waving, and as few words as possible. This time it was a nod and a glance over at the bread on the counter.

“Another sandwich like earlier?” Jim asked.

“Yeah.”

“Daryl says there's going to be a little service for your dad tomorrow.”

“OK.”

“I'm really sorry that we couldn't have done more, but we'll watch out for you and you don't ever have to leave this place.”

Mark nodded and made a sound that communicated approval.

Jim got busy making him a sandwich, thankfully there was a lot of frozen bread in Edgar's freezer cause it made for easy meals. They shared peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the living room and Jim wondered if Merle was still kicking and when they would be bringing him news from Rutledge. As if in response to his thoughts, the truck pulled up and he stood to wipe his hands on his pants and get the door.

“Jim?” Daryl called. “Close your eyes, OK?”

“What?”

“Just trust me.”

“You've lost it, Daryl.”

“Do it. Trust me.”

Jim shook his head and closed his eyes, awaiting some dumb joke or another. What he got instead were soft lips and the arms of the only woman he ever loved wrapping around him. He lost it.

Daryl had never seen anything like what he saw between Jim and Hannah. He sank to the ground when his knees buckled and slowly pulled her down with him. He held her face still before his eyes for a long time as if trying to believe it was really her. Tears flowed down both their cheeks and it's as if they could get close enough, grasping hands and kissing that was more fit for privacy. Daryl grinned and knew that he needed this in his life, and he needed it with Carol.

“Damn,” Gerry muttered. “They ever comin' up for air?”

“I don't think so,” Daryl chuckled.

/

Daryl got back to Rutledge late that night and left Jim, Gerry and Hannah with Mark. Gerry wanted to asses how Mark was doing health-wise and noted that they would likely be sticking around the area now that Hannah and Jim were together again.

Daryl replayed the reunion over and over again and decided that he needed to be alone with Carol at some point very soon, that night if he could pull it off.

When he arrived back at the house, he stopped by Merle's room to check in on his progress and he looked a little weak but he finally had color in his face again.

“Still no fever?” he whispered to Jacqui.

“Nope, he's doing great. He ate and everything,” she nodded.

“Awesome. Keep me informed if anything changes, we got a nurse now.”

“You got it. I heard that Jim got his fiance back! That's wild isn't it?” she grinned.

“It's like a damn miracle. You should have seen it when he saw her, the guy collapsed on the ground.”

“That's so romantic. I'm sorry I missed it.”

“Where's your brother?”

“In the basement, I think he crashed early.”

“Cool. Talk to you later. I'm going to go check on Carol.”

“Uh huh,” she winked.

“What?”

“Oh nothing.”

/

“Carol, you still up?” he whispered.

She was laying next to Sophia who was sound asleep when he peeked his head in the room.

She rolled out of bed to meet him at the door and asked how everything went with Jim.

“He was so happy...actually happy doesn't even do it justice,” he noted. “They both just collapse on each other kissing and crying.”

“I'm so happy for him...looks like you were right about this world, it's not all bad,” she grinned.

“It really isn't, everyone is fallin' in love.”

“Everyone?” she teased.

“Everyone,” he answered more seriously. “Can you sneak away for a minute?”

She looked back at Sophia who hadn't moved a muscle and then nodded that she was free for a bit.

Daryl led her to his room where he closed the door and didn't really know what to do next.

“Daryl?” she began, “You OK? You look really...nervous.”

“I don't know what the hell I had planned when I got you alone...that's lie actually, I did know but I don't know if you're ready for this.”

“You could always try it out and see what happens?” she said softly.

He took a couple of steps toward her and he could see it in her eyes, she was more than open to taking it further. Daryl reached a hand out to touch her cheek and her bright blue eyes closed. When he did kiss her, it was her neck that he kissed and her head moved back at the sensation of his mouth on her skin.

He heard a little moan leave her lips and he continued to kiss her neck soft and slow, moving up gradually until his lips met hers. A fire was ignited then and he urged her against he nearest wall to take it up a notch. He claimed her mouth with his own and yanked her right leg up around his waist, grinding himself against her with every drop of passion he had for her.

“Mmmmm Daryl,” she sighed as her fingers threaded through his shaggy hair.

“I wanna be your man, honey,” he growled into her ear.

“Yes...I want that too...I want it all with you,” she panted.

“I could take you right here, right now,” he breathed.

“Damn,” she whined as his greedy hands took both of her breasts and he buried his face between them.

He urged her shirt up over her head and pulled off his own in two very speedy movements and her eyes drank in his exposed skin. The heat just got higher and she was very soon shoving down her pants to dial it up to 11.

Daryl knew that this wasn't going to involve foreplay and he couldn't care less. This was the kind of sex that only happened once in a lifetime. The kind of sex where if you don't get inside her fast you'll drown right there on dry land.

He was soon, pushing down his boxers and hiking her up against the wall with her legs draped around his hips.

He grunted and groaned at the sensation of sinking his cock balls-deep inside her. She was made for him, there were no two ways about it. She clung to him, her arms wrapped around his neck and he plowed into her with everything he had inside.

“Fuckin' hell, Carol...Mmmm....oh yeah....”

It was so fast and so furious. Nothing would ever surpass the first time they came together and they both knew it.

She came apart fast, and with little provocation. Daryl could feel her body pulling him in, milking the cum from him insistently with every pulsation.

“Cum with me,” she whimpered and his body obeyed.

It never happened like that, he'd never cum with a woman before at the same time, but sex with Carol was a whole different experience.

By the time he was lowering her to the ground, they both glistened with sweat and guilty looking grins.

“Mama?”

“Damn it,” she whispered. “I hope she didn't hear any of this.”

“Me too...shit,” he whispered back.

“This is what nooky is like with a mom, hope you're OK with that,” she shrugged as she pulled her clothes on.

“Be right there, Sophia,” she answered cheerily.

“Hey,” Daryl said, stopping her for a second. “I'll take any second I can get with you and as far as Sophia goes, I'm hoping to be a dad to her in her own time.”

“You're too good, Daryl...I don't even know what to say.”

“Just say that you're mine, that's all I wanna hear.”

“I'm yours...and you're mine.”

“You got that right,” he growled, kissing her hard one more time before she had to run back to Sophia.

Thankfully, Sophia hadn't heard the commotion, she just woke up thirsty for some water. Carol couldn't stop grinning for the rest of the night though.

/

Jacqui held Merle's hand, she was still shell shocked by his illness, it had come out of nowhere and thrown her for a loop. She was exhausted from never leaving his bedside and now the relief of seeing him on the mend cemented her collapse. She lay down then next to him and he wrapped his arm around her from behind.

“I thought I was going to lose you,” she said softly.

“Sorry to worry you, honey.”

“Don't you ever do it again,” she smiled. “You ain't leaving me so fast when I only just found you.”

“I sure don't plan to.”

There was a moment of silence then and he kissed her neck and pulled her in closer.

“I love you so much, Jacqui, so much I can't even process it most of the time.”

“I know what you mean.”

And she did get it; the love she felt for Merle was so strong that it could lift her from the depths of despair or bring her to her knees.


	23. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This could be continued at some point if there is any demand for it.  
Thank you for reading!  
It wasn't easy to finish this while I'm homeschooling two kids and Christmas is coming but I'm fairly happy with it and I hope you are too.  
Happy Holidays!   
Teagan xoxo

**How It All Went Down **

**Chapter 23 **

**Epilogue**

Jacqui pulled the last of the carrots from the plot at the end of a long row of crops. Night was falling sooner that a few weeks before and she knew that the weather was going to change soon.

“Jacqui! Watch me! Watch!”

Sophia screamed at her from the street where she was riding a bike with training wheels with another child from town.

“I see you, honey! Good job!”

The days were long and tiring with so much to prepare for and they always had to keep watch for walkers. There were small clusters of them now and they had heard of even larger groups all moving along together. Everyone prayed that they wouldn't be encountering anything like that any time soon, they weren't prepared for anything more than a group of 20 walkers at most.

Adjustments to life were still being made but they were holding their own. Jim, Hannah, and Gerry lived at Edgar's old place with Mark and had made the most of his property. They had the two horses, a large garden and everyone was supplied with milk from the goats. Gerry cared for people in the area who needed medical care and with solar power and well, the whole group had access to electricity when it was needed and fresh water.

Carol, Daryl, and Sophia had grown into a nice little family together and the little girl had come right out of her shell over the long hot summer.

Jacqui watched as Merle came through the back door and out into the garden where the sun was beginning to set and Jacqui was finishing up her work for the day.

“You almost done, honey?” he yawned as he bent down to pick up her bin of carrots for her.

“Yeah,” she smiled. “We're going to be fine this winter I think.”

“Yep...we're all set up now,” he agreed. “Did you think about that thing I mentioned yet?”

“I did,” she nodded.

“And?”

“I think we should go for it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Holy crap! Really? Oh my God, honey. That's the best news I've heard in ages,” he exclaimed.

Jacqui had made him wait almost a week for her decision regarding starting a family, she had to think long and hard about it before committing to something that could be potentially dangerous. She also wanted to speak to Gerry about it, she wanted to know if it could be done safely and was assured that there were ways to reduce risk and that she shouldn't let the new world stop her from living. Gerry didn't believe in taking stupid risks but she didn't believe in rolling over and dying either, it was a delicate balance.

/

Merle grabbed her and pulled her up into a long embrace. He never wanted to pressure her into starting a family and he felt even better about her answer knowing that she had taken her time to respond. He had to know that it's what she really wanted too.

Rutledge was standing strong and he knew that it was in large part due to the group he belonged to. They had gathered everyone in town together to use their talents for the greater good. There were all kinds of people in town and everyone had a way to contribute. Somehow the ugly place he'd grown up and couldn't wait to leave was a place of hope and prosperity. He didn't even connect with his past in the house anymore, all he could see now were the people who had become his family and the memories they were making together.

The future was uncertain, walkers were becoming a bigger problem and supplies were still in short supply, but they were bound and determined not to let the new world take them down without a fight. Together, they would live the best lives they could and never take a single day for granted. 


End file.
